What should I do? I like this girl at work but.. ?

This girl started talking to me at my work last year. We have some common interests and she's really nice. She's actually really helped me going through some bad problems. And I've had some great times going to watch bands with her. But and I really hate this and I feel a little shallow but she's extremely obese. I think it's a condition which causes her to put more weight on as Ive never seen her eat really badly at all and the rest of her family are a normal weight. I can feel kind of a spark between us and I do love talking to her. Even if she was a little big I wouldn't mind but shes at a really really unhealthy weight. I think like 28 maybe 30 stone. And she's still in her 20s. I don't know what to do, a part of me does like her but I think this is the only thing that's putting me off. She's actually really pretty but I would never want to say to her to lose weight as I'd be scared off offending her. Do you think I'm being shallow? 

4 Answers

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    7 months ago

    She's headed down a path that can be very difficult for a partner. Just the health risks of obesity alone are reason enough not to date someone who isn't taking care of themselves. You could always continue to see her and plan activities that involve exercise. Maybe this would inspire her to lose weight. But if she's got some medical condition that may not be possible for her.

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  • 8 months ago

    You're not being particularly shallow, you're a product of your culture like all of us are. Huge amounts of weight...an unhealthy amount of weight..appears unattractive to us. That's just the way the Western world is, for better or worse. You can't help how you feel in any case. It's probable that she knows how people view her and knows that she's not attractive to most people, just like it's likely that she can't do anything about it, but it's POSSIBLE that she can, if she's motivated enough. That part might be up to you.

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  • Anonymous
    8 months ago


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  • 8 months ago

    Yes this is shallow, get to know her more as a person. Then ask her to do fun things with you that actually involve fitness. Like ask her to go ice skating or to go for a run.

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