Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 9 months ago

Is it wrong that I don't want anything to do with my aunt?

I have an aunt that I don't talk to. I was never really close to her but recently she has done some things that make me mad so I don't even want to be around her or be associated with her. She doesn't maintain her house (actually her mother's, my grandmother's house). I had very happy memories in that house growing up as a child with my grandmother and she (my Aunt) has basically turned it into a rubbish dump. My grandmother is sick (alzheimers) and has been for a long time so she has no say over what happens to her house. My aunt just lives there rent free and trashes the place. I just can't be around her, I don't understand it and I don't want anything to do with her. I also feel she is a manipulative person who lies all the time to get what she wants. And she gossips to people I don't even know about me. One time a man I had never met in my life turned up at my work saying "hi how are you?, I talked to your aunt" and I was like "okay" and he was like "omg you sound like her" and I was annoyed and said "that's not really a compliment and how can I sound like someone I don't even speak to?" he left after that.

So I guess my question is, am I justified in cutting ties and having nothing to do with this person even though they are family? 


My aunt is not taking care of my grandmother, my grandmother is being cared for in a old person healthcare facility. My aunt never cared for her.

Update 2:

If she was taking care of my grandmother with alzheimers I might actually have some sympathy for her, she is not and never has. She spent most of the time my grandmother was sick living overseas and not bothering to help out in anyway.

Update 3:

She is living in my grandmother's house by herself doing what ever she wants like a spoiled child and not maintaining the house or property and turning it into a rubbish dump.

Update 4:

@linkus86 Just because she is family doesn't mean I owe her anything. It's not like I was ever close to her at all. And if someone in my family did cut me out of my life I would either deal with it or change my behavior but this aunt is not interested in changing her behavior or cares how her problem or way of living affects me and my life so she will no longer be apart of it. She is a selfish betch.

Update 5:

@foofa I do not "avoid my dying grandmother" because of that. You people answering have no clues, as I have stated my grandmother does NOT even live with my aunt.

Update 6:

Oh and if I am "avoiding my dying grandmother" it's because thanks to this same aunt. she put my grandma in a healthcare facility in a city miles away from where I live so I cannot go to visit her. 

4 Answers

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    9 months ago

    So you have an auntie who's a mentally ill hoarder but you're going to avoid your dying grandma just to avoid that person. Doesn't make a lot of sense to me (when clearly the family should be getting this aunt into treatment). But there you have the shortsighted family dynamics where people just can't step outside the situation to get a clear perspective on it.

  • 9 months ago

    I know you are only looking for validation for your feelings, not a real answer, so you are going to hate my answer.

    Yes you are wrong.  None of us are perfect and that includes you.  How would you feel if other family members decided to cut you out of their life because you did something they were ashamed of you doing?  When it comes to family and friends we forgive them for their imperfections the same way we expect them to forgive ours.  You have good reason to be angry at your aunt, but not to cut them off.  

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    9 months ago

    thats up to you if you dont want anything to do with her

  • Anonymous
    9 months ago

    well your aunt might be a toxic busybody but taking care or just living with somebody with Alzheimer's isn't a walk in the park

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