Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 3 weeks ago

Why do people never take responsibility for the things they do or say?

I’m looking at my marriage, it is failing. My husband has been cheating on me for a while now and it’s my own fault. I have one of those controlling mothers. I did not realize it until my late 20s. her siblings who helped raise me since she was always traveling were doing it as long as she kept sending money. she forced people to do things for her money, eventually they grew to resent her. And started doing nasty things. by the time I realized all this I was getting married to someone she didn’t want because.  I still don’t know to this day if these things are true but I heard that she did voodoo to destroy our relationship. She tries to help us, but things just keep going to worse. she gave me the idea that he was cheating (through fortune telling)and that was the reason why things were bad between us. That they say our marriage will never work. I accused him for years, the truth is when I look back I can say we loved each other. we both had controlling mothers  that guided our choices. and they made us do, say or think bad things of each other. Eventually he ended up detaching emotionally, and abusing me financially. he actually is cheating now and he is so involved with the other one he only wants to leave. And when I reminded her of the cheating accusations And according to her I don’t listen to her advice and when things get bad I blame it on her or others. I know when my own decisions lead to something bad, but I also know when people influence me to do things. 

8 Answers

Relevance
  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    You, with your superstitious beliefs that shift the blame from yourself to magic, would be a chief offender of this not taking responsibility. Sounds like you come from a crazy family and you married the first fool you met just to stick it to your "controlling" mother. So of course your marriage isn't working out. Get into therapy to work on your own unhealthy thinking. Through that process you'll come to be able to identify whether this marriage is worth trying to save or not.

  • 3 weeks ago

    You tell us this is your own fault and that you are taking responsibility for the choices you made. Congratulations! No point in blaming the Moms then. File for divorce. Be tough about it. This is no time to tuck your tail. But if your husband "wants to leave", throw open the door.

    You've come to realize that the two of you loved each other. Maybe, set free to his own devices, he'll come to the same conclusion. Or he won't. Time to find out.

  • RP
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    If you honestly believe that you are responsible for him cheating, then you are helping him avoid responsibility for his action and, as a result, reinforcing his inclination to cheat rather than be faithful to you. In essence, you are making possible what you feel others are doing... specifically, you provide an excuse for him to avoid responsibility for something that is clearly a choice HE has made.

    • Jordyn3 weeks agoReport

      I can’t force someone to not do something. he is a grown man. 

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    If you believe in voodoo you have issues which Yahoo Answers can't solve.

    I tend not to believe third parties when it comes to my marriage.

    • Jordyn3 weeks agoReport

      Never said I did. I said she did, and made me think he was cheating in his actions. 

  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • 3 weeks ago

    I don't think voodoo destroyed your marriage, you listened to your mother and that destroyed it. Maybe you should try talking to your husband, apologize and give him so much sex that he won't want to go back to the other female. 

  • 3 weeks ago

    There are too many moving parts and manipulations. Too dangerous issues and why confront her,  why?  You already knew about it.

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    They do not want to have to be responsible for their actions.

    Atheists are the worst here. You say your mom has even being doing very evil voodoo. 

    Without GOD they cannot feel any LOVE at all! For real LOVE comes only from and with GOD!  How about Praying to GOD about this and doing this each day? 

  • 3 weeks ago

    Because we are human that what we do

Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.