Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 3 weeks ago

My husband is using cocaine?

We have a two month old baby. 

He does it with 6pack beers and online games with friends  at every weekend. 

So he stays up all night then he goes to bed in morning then sleeping till evening with bad hangover. 

So we have many arguments about it. 

I’m really sick of it. 

I’m thinking I will leave with the baby but it’s pretty hard.

I really want he will realize how stupid it. 

How to talk with him about it? 

He is always bad attitude to me after it. 

If possible I would like to divorce with him. But it’s hard and close to impossible.

So I really hope he will stop using stupid drugs. 

How should I do to him? 

14 Answers

Relevance
  • 3 weeks ago

    I know it seems hard but if he isn't helping out and you just had this baby, leave his sorry a**. You don't need him, you need to make sure you child is safe. Him having drugs in the home is dangerous. If she starts moving and gets into them you are both in trouble and she is taken away. Do you want to go through that? If you are smart you would make him leave. No sense of you leaving your home with a small child. Do what is best even if it's hard or it will get worse. Don't make yourself the fool dear. 

    Much love and good luck!

  • Linda
    Lv 6
    3 weeks ago

    That is a really tough situation that you are in and I wish you had thought about this bf becoming pregnant bc I am sure you knew about his bad habits beforehand. What can you do now? Tell your husband unless he gets some help getting off the drugs and alcohol you are leaving him bc you cannot live anymore like this especially with the baby. If he refuses or will not change, I would call on family or go to a women's shelter if there isn't family and work on getting a job, getting daycare assistance, apply with the housing authority, get food stamps, and work on a divorce and getting child support. My sister had an abusive boyfriend and a newborn and she got a full time job, moved to a 2 bedroom townhouse paying reduced rent through HUD, received food stamps, was given  cheese and milk through the government, and went back to school and now that child is 24 and she remarried someone with integrity and is doing well financially now. There is help out there but it is not going to be easy but you can do it. What's better...staying with a drug addict and being miserable or struggling to survive but having a future?

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    Sit him down and tell him the things that may have been bearable before you became parents are no longer acceptable. Even just drinking all night so that he's not present with his family the next day is problematic. But doing illegal things that could land him in prison is utterly irresponsible. Tell him you'll give him a chance to kick this on his own, maybe a month, and that you'll go into marriage counseling with him... But that if things don't change quickly you WILL be filling for divorce. But you have to be serious about it and actually follow through if he doesn't take things seriously.

  • 3 weeks ago

    "Do to him"? Huh? Like, cut off a thumb or something? What do you WANT to "do to him"?  That could be fun to talk about. 

    So, my experience with Coke is that the desire for it grows until the choice to put it out of your life need grow even stronger. There is all that all night partying and fun and companionship that, honestly, becomes dependent on the drug sharing as well. In other words, he's not going to "fit" with his buddies anymore if he's the only guy in the room who is not doing Coke. Unless he's the guy that sells it to them. My guess is that he knows this very well. And that the boy's club has gone on a whole lot longer than the baby has been around. So this would mark a major life and lifestyle change. People who love narcotics rarely tolerate, for long, friends who don't. 

    You have an infant. It sounds like you'd appreciate HIM having an infant too. Have you asked him if he'd prefer becoming a full time husband and father or have the courts attach his pay in child/spousal support and he gets to go off with the remainder and live what ever life he'd prefer? When you say, "impossible".. that leads to wondering if he makes his money under the table and there is no legal tracking.

    Are you able to have lunch with a friend yet? Pack up your baby and do a little socializing? Your husband likely looks at his boy's club like you'd look at visits with a girlfriend. A sandwich costs a lot less than a gram or two (it is all night!) of cocaine. Money absolutely need come into this conversation. It could be at the core of it too. 

  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • 3 weeks ago

    Unfortunately, you're in a terrible situation. Addicts generally remain that way for the remainder of their lives. They promise to get help and generally do not, or they don't finish the program. They often steal in order to support their habit. If you remain with him you're looking at a difficult life. I'd sit him down when he's 100% sober and inform him in no uncertain terms that this has to stop. If he tries and is successful you could have a chance. If he refuses, or tries, and returns to drugs, you've given him his chance. Seek help and get away from him. Best of luck.

  • 3 weeks ago

    Leave him because he will destroy you and the kids. Rush out the door.

  • 3 weeks ago

    thats brilliant!

    lol

  • kristy
    Lv 6
    3 weeks ago

    What a waste. Coke is for going out clubbing and partying, and having sex

  • 3 weeks ago

    He’s not only selfish, immature, and self-centered, but he could be an addict. Regardless, it’s important you have a conversation with him about how you feel, and prepare in advance. Set an expectation (although you can’t make him change) with a specific time frame for yourself (say 3 mos.), and if nothing changes, you’ll need to. He may not be aware of how dire the circumstances are, especially if you’re not communicating honestly and just seem miffed.

  • PAMELA
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    I would not stay in a house with a baby if the father is on drugs, you could lose your child if he is ever arrested for drug use, does he drive after he has been drinking and taken drugs? you should tell him unless he stops you will leave, and i know it will be hard, go to friends, family, anywhere, but get your baby away from him, he is not safe,when a person is on one drug they are usuallly taking other drugs too.

Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.