Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 8 months ago

Boyfriends brother engaged?

I've been dating my boyfriend for over 3 years. His older brother has been dating a girl for a little over 2 years now. My boyfriend and I have a house together and a husky and two cats, and we are very happy, but my boyfriend's brother and his girlfriend (who live in an apartment with a golden retriever) just got engaged.

 I would be happy for them but over the years his girlfriend and I grew close and she told me about how much she hates her boyfriend, and that she's thought about moving, that they're unstable, that she thinks he's the most annoying person she's ever met, and that she'd have left by now if it weren't for the dog they share, and some of the most nasty things that I'd never say about my worst enemy and I'm not exaggerating. 

I want to be happy for them, but it's hard considering she's so two faced when it comes to their relationship. Around the family they're a nice couple but the second her and I are alone she tells me about all the things she hates about him.

What do I do? Smile and keep my mouth shut? It's obvious that she doesn't care, so why should I, right? 

6 Answers

  • 8 months ago

    Shut your mouth and smile or smile and shut your mouth whichever one you choose don't get in the middle you'll just end up being the bad guy.

    If someone told you they'd die if they jumped of a cliff and then jumped would you jump off to save them?

    Doesn't make sense does it?

    Well so does her not wanting to leave because of the dog I hope too hell and back you don't confide your secrets to this conning......... female.......

    Good Luck

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    If you're very close with her you might ask her if this marriage is what she really wants. Although to be fair these days an "engagement" often means nothing because people never make it to the altar. The fact that you felt the need to point out that you've been with your bf longer, have a house not an apartment and own more pets indicates that you're envious of this maybe YOU want to be "engaged" too. But their actions should prove to you that words are cheap, engagement means very little unless it's followed by a wedding 12 months later and that one can be both "engaged" and miserable. So don't "be happy" for them because it sounds like there's nothing to cheer here. But don't be as jealous of this woman as you clearly are.

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  • 8 months ago

    Wow. From an outside perspective, it is blatanly obvious that you're jealous that they got engaged and your boyfriend still hasn't proposed to you. That is crystal clear considering you start out by telling us how long you've been with your boyfriend and how you have a house and dogs and cats and meanwhile this couple have been dating a whole year less and only live in an apartment - as if to suggest your relationship is much more stable and better.

    Here's some life advice- you can still be happy for others when they get something that you want but haven't gotten yet. The fact that they got engaged does not mean that you can't - you just haven't yet.

    Your boyfriend's brother's fiancee has vented to you before, clearly-- haven't you ever vented about your boyfriend to someone? What should you do... how is this even a question?? Do you honestly think it would be appropriate for you to tell everyone all the things she has said about her fiance and ruin their relationship?? I honestly can't even believe you would think that's an option. Girl, mind your DAMN business and stay out of their relationship. The only person who would look bad in this situation is YOU for sticking your ugly nose where it doesn't belong.

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  • 8 months ago

    This isn't really your business so you ought to stay out of it. However, perhaps, as she's blurted her all to you in the past, you could take her aside and ask her why on earth she's planning to marry this guy she hates. Why not just take the dog and run out on him? It would be interesting to hear her answer. Keep it just between the two of you because when the sh** hits the fan, you will be the one getting blamed for everything. At least you can say 'I did ask her what she was playing at and she said......'.

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  • Linda
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    True. Tell her to leave him if she is so unhappy with him but you are getting bummed out hearing about it so often and it is bringing you down.

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  • 8 months ago

    I'm questioning your motives here

    It sure sounds like you are jealous she has gotten engaged and is "winning" this pathetic juvenille game you seem to be (the only one) playing

    You go to great lengths to explain how you are better, dated longer, have more blah blah

    Either voice this is to her quietly

    or be prepared the rest of their family see you as we do here

    • mintlee
      Lv 4
      8 months agoReport

      Your answer is spot on. I hope the asker realizes how jealousy-driven her motives are.

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