Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 4 weeks ago

Should this be my responsibility before the parents?

babysit a special needs girl. Lately mom has been home. A LOT. Sometimes I will arrive when mom is hone and the first thing she'll say is her daughter needs a diaper and juice. Her diaper with be soaked. This was a regular thing in the summer when I didn't arrive till 9. Step dad was home and mom had already left for work. I understand you have someone getting paid to come take care of your child, but at the same time, it's YOUR child and you know she's gunna be super wet in the morning, or that she needs to be given juice, and I don't think it's right to just wait till the caregiver is there.

The daughter vomits lot too, and if it happens at bedtime, mom asks me to stay late to give her another bath and clean everything up... This process is about an hour long. Now I would gladly stay late and do this if mkm isn't home and it's just the high school brothers. But if I have clinicals in the grade school I work at the following morning (need to get up early) AND mom is home, I will not be staying late to do this, because again, she's the parent and just because you have someone hired to help out with your child doesn't take away your responsibilities. I'm not saying mom doesn't do these things when no one is there except her. But she seems to expect it when someone is there and it drives me crazy! One day she had me putting away her husband's clothes!

Update:

I should add, with the bedtime vomiting. This is when it happens around 8:25. I'm off at 8:30, and then mom will ask me to stay late so she doesn't need to do this. I've also gotten there and she's been wearing clothes that had throw up on them, because they new I was coming, so they just waited to change her.

8 Answers

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  • 3 weeks ago

    It would drive me crazy, too, if a child were left to soak in their own urine all morning until 9 AM. Doesn't the kid have a terrible rash? If not, i'm surprised.

    My grandson is disabled and his mother is right there first thing in the morning to either change him or get him to the toilet. I don't understand the people you work for at all.

    And why is the child getting sugary juice? If he's disabled, the last thing he needs is sugar.

  • 4 weeks ago

    It definitely sounds like there are some misunderstandings about what your role is and is not. I'm hearing three different problems: one, that a parent will ask you to stay past the time when you're supposed to leave. Two, that they are putting off caring for their child because they know you are arriving soon. And three, that they sometimes ask you to do tasks that are not related to childcare, e.g., putting away his clothes.

    The first problem is the easiest to address, and also likely the most important. I would have a conversation with her about your timetable. The next time she asks you to stay later than expected, do so, and then talk to her about it the next time you see her. Tell her that you have other commitments very early in the morning, and that it is important that you get to leave on time. You understand that sometimes things happen that aren't expected, but that it has become a trend for you to be asked to stay extra late, even if parents are home. You have set working hours, and need to stick to them.

    On the other two, I agree with you but they are harder to solve. I can't even imagine being that child and not being taken care of because "oh, a sitter will change you in an hour" like... what?? I would say to pinpoint specific things. If you are concerned for her health because she is sitting around in a dirty diaper for too long before you arrive, that seems like a concern to bring up with mom. Or if you believe she is being neglected before you arrive and not given anything to drink.

    When you do have those conversations, focus on the specific instance that just happened so that the parent doesn't feel like you are blaming them (she'll get defensive, which won't help). Say "hey, I just wanted to let you know. When I got there, it seemed like your daughter had been sitting in a dirty diaper for half an hour or more. I'm concerned that it isn't healthy for her to be left for that long." and see if anything gets better.

    Good luck!

  • 4 weeks ago

    I totally agree. Maybe you can try to talk to the mom about this? So that way you can still work with the child and not be over stressed and feeling like your getting taken advantage of and eventally want to quit. I'm sure you may have a bond with her or she may have a bond with you.

  • 4 weeks ago

    Well on a throw up night I'd insist youre gking home you smell like puke.

    Other than that I'd move the baby less to avoid vomit.

    I'd have a faster way to clean up the vomit, wipes, paper towels air fresheners. Id still wash and dry properly, but fast.

    The wet diaper in the mowell no one thinks its that important. I worked for a family and they sai they had money for 5 diapers a day. The baby stayed wet for hours between diapers. So cost could be any issue.

    I was a nanny for a couple doctors. They had 4 kids under 5 years old, that's a lot of diapers and potty training. That's a lot of food, cooking  and clean up and mega washing of endless laundry. They expected all that done all day every day. If they were home they did not cook, clean, change a diaper.

    I had a car they provided a normal week for me was 80 hours yes 80 hours a week. I didn't live their thanks god but, when the dr slept at all hours i did it all.

    After less than 24 hours off the house was a mess, dishes, laundry, kids just a mess. They had a housekeep but she came once a week.

    When I requested no more small toys polly pockets because 2 babies were putting in mouths. Older girls not cleaning up. The dr mom gave me a box to clean the up.

    The next monday i left trash, dirty diapers, laundry all aray. Took care out kids. Didn't pick up one toy. The house was a royal mess when they arrived. Their kids were fed and dry and clean that was better than they did on a normal day but, at $12.00 it was a pain but I loved those kids. 

    So parents are lazy even educated 

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    Quit if you don't like it....

  • Juana
    Lv 4
    4 weeks ago

    You're getting paid to do it, and you willingly say yes. I think if you put your foot down to start she wouldn't be expecting you to say yes every time she asks more of you. Now she just expects it, so either speak up or sit back.

  • Teal
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    The child is your responsibility as long as you are on the clock, even if a parent is home. But it sounds like you need to set some boundaries with them and clearly spell out your hours and the duties you are willing to take on. You are also in a position to negotiate, they need to pay you more if they want you to stay late on short notice and help with household chores.

  • Greg
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    It is called work for a reason.

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