Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

I just keep arguing with my Dad how can I stop arguing with him?

I’m 18 now and am at university I come home at weekends. For years now even before university me and my dad just seem to argue and it’s not even over big things most of the time but I feel he overreacts. There’s underlying issues which I think make it worse. 2 years ago my Dad’s brother died and 1 year ago my Dad’s dad died. Also 2 years ago my Dad’s daughter (my half sister) who lives in the US (we live in UK) who we recently got back in contact with 8 years ago after no contact for years and only met once within those 8 years because of complications. We no longer have contact with my Dad’s daughter too. My Dad’s gone through a lot and that’s why I feel he overreacts at me because of other issues that are going on. I accept it sometimes but I do feel everything is taken out on me. I just don’t want to argue anymore as it always upsets my mum that we argue. 

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  • Linda
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    Try to pinpoint what you and your dad are arguing about. Is he mad that you aren't doing well in school or is it just little things like not putting your glass in the dishwasher? If you can find out what the main reason is that dad is always flying off the handle, and talk it out with him, maybe it'll get easier. If not, maybe come home every other weekend or once a month to see if that helps. Good luck!

  • 1 month ago

    Do you ever hear "it takes two"?, it applies here, you seem to be laying all the blame here on your Dad, and yet refuse to take any accountability here! I do think you make some valid points here that your Dad has a lot of issues going on, and has no idea how to cope, so he lashes out at you, and he does this because he KNOWS you will give him a reaction every single time. You seem to have control issues here, you seem to need to have the last word, to always have the upper hand, and when he argues with you, you feel you have to reply in kind.

    An argument is when TWO people trade words, so when your Dad starts up, the best thing to do is say "I am not having a discussion with you right now", and then walk away, he can't argue with you with someone not even in the fighting ring. Be the bigger person, shut your mouth, and walk away....

  • Keep the family relationships strong he wants to you to understand his thoughts, even if his thoughts upset you or make you anxious just listen to him with understanding and say sorry and most importantly do not talk back to him. According to me family is the strongest support in your life everybody fades away but family keeps you strong even if he is talking wrong just obey it at this point he is weak and hopeless and stressed about his life you should motivate him and show your love to him , because he needs your support that is what family "Support for one another" and....that's my answer to your question :)

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    just tell your dad you dont want to argue anymore

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  • d j
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    What's the point of valuing those after they're are gone and ignoring the living around you?

  • 1 month ago

    Spank his *** and call him daddy 

  • 1 month ago

    You do the right thing by not letting his argument affect you. You accept that is the way he is and that his argumentative comments from him are the same as a regular conversation with another person. Second you do listen to him as to what he is saying, but don't comment back. Much the same way a professional would handle the situation. Commenting back only adds fuel and makes things worse. Be in control, reduce the argument by not responding. Third, you might listen to him as to what he is saying. He might be right, or do things that can be fixed. What you need to do is have a plan and a schedule for your life and what you need from him before you can fly on your own. And vice versa, to some extent. If you 2 agree on that, then there is less reason to argue. Check into borderline personality disorder.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Let him know that you are and always will be there for him no matter what and emphasize that you are and always will be his little girl despite being an adult.  Listen to him and let him vent.

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