Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 9 months ago

My mom has always been mean to her in-laws behind their back. Are almost all women like this?

I’m a woman and so I don’t want to be this way if I marry one day. She treats my stepfather‘s family horrible behind their back and she used to be the same with my dad‘s family were married. She’s on again off again with her brothers wife and she’s mean to my brothers wife behind her back who is her daughter-in-law. Leslie my mom‘s other brother is divorced but she was cold his then wife.

Apparently my moms mom is like this with the two daughters in law though I haven’t noticed as much and I know that my grandmother is very mean to her husband‘s only living sister. Lastly one of my moms grandmothers apparently disliked each and everyone of her sons wives and her own mother-in-law and sisters in law so similar to my mom.

So my question is whether it’s almost universal that women don’t like their in-laws? Is that the case? Should I be prepared for it if I marry one day?

4 Answers

  • 9 months ago
    Favourite answer

    You hear the jokes and read the stories of horrible in-laws, but really, it's not like that for the vast majority of people. Your in-laws will be PEOPLE, after all. You don't have to hate them, but you also don't have to get along with every single person and kiss their butt.

    I love my in-laws to pieces, but yes, there are a few that I can't stand at all. Luckily, my husband doesn't like them much either, so we don't see them. That also helps, if your future spouse and you are in agreement with who you don't like, LOL. Same with my family, I can't stand my sister and neither can my husband, so it works out.

    You don't have to be doomed to repeat the in-law hate that your family has, but at the same time, you cannot control whether or not people in your future spouse's family will like you. I was respectful of my mother-in-law from day ONE and she loves me. My mother loves my husband, too. So while you can't predict it, you can definitely make an impression. But if your FMIL doesn't like you and you don't like her, but you LOVE the man you're with, it is what it is. Getting married means marrying the families. It makes it so much easier when people get along and everyone likes each other, sure. But if you can just tolerate them and be cordial and never be a brat, that can make all the difference, too.

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  • 9 months ago

    So you have seen an example of how she is treating others and don't want to do it yourself? That's good. Just don't. How you CHOOSE to act and treat others is a choice YOU can make. If you wouldn't want to be like your Mother take note of what she is doing and avoid the same in your own life.

    Not all people are like her. I had great respect and love for my own parents-in-laws til they passed. Some of the sisters and brothers in laws are close, others not so much. But that is normal "some people gel and some don't" thing not an In-law thing.

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  • 9 months ago

    Well, no, of course not. People have the power to change their behavior; it's not set in stone.

    I've gotten lucky both times with my in-laws and I'd like to think they would say the same about me. Your mom sounds like a real piece of work, with some serious issues with other women for some reason, wow.

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  • Vicki
    Lv 5
    9 months ago

    No, it doesn't always have to be this way. It's common, because a lot of the time there's fighting that happens or something else happens. But it's not set in stone. Get along with them and be determined not to be a dick behind their back.

    But you don't have to dislike them. And don't give them a reason to dislike you.

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