Username asked in HealthMental Health · 9 months ago

How do I regain confidence and emotional stability?

Back in June, I was broken up with by a woman I dated for only 7 months, but it was a fantastic 7 months. Except, now that the dust has fully settled I realize it wasn't. She was emotionally manipulative, and I never noticed. It has reached a point where I no longer feel capable of talking to another woman with intentions to get her number because no matter what I do, the answer I always get is "no". All the flaws that were pointed out about me to my face by my ex during the breakup really stuck with me, and now every time I even think about talking to a woman, all I can think of is "I'm not good enough, I'm boring, I'm not even good looking. She'll hate me for everything, just like my ex said would happen." I'm not saying my ex is controlling me just by saying that, I just don't know how to get confidence back because I have been rejected multiple times since then, and I'm starting to think maybe I'm not as good of a guy as I once thought, and maybe my looks are overrated by me in the mirror. I hate thinking of myself like this, but when I've been told so harshly all my flaws, and then be rejected multiple times, all I can think is maybe she's not technically wrong. Any help to get back to my old self would be great, because recently I have been an emotional wreck and I can't even talk to anyone without feeling annoying. Especially to the opposite gender.

2 Answers

  • peachy
    Lv 4
    9 months ago
    Favourite answer

    I am sorry for how you feel and what you’re going through, man.

    I found out, the hard way of course, that unhealed break-ups show on our faces, especially if we truly loved our partners.

    Please know that the more you believe what she said, the more you will be hurt and you will be in ruins for a long time before you start to heal.

    She probably has more issues than you do, because for someone to want to hurt anyone like that, they have to be very weak. And she is.

    All you have to do now is nurse your wounds and give them time to heel. Don’t jump into rebounds. They will mess you up and you will hurt someone in the way.

    Make a list of goals you want to achieve and work on them. A step by step process. Spend more time exercising, focus on your work, and find something you like and make it a hobby. Keep busy to the point that you go to sleep the minute you put your head on the pillow.

    Write a long letter that expresses all your pain and burn it down.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • patty
    Lv 6
    9 months ago

    maybe forgive her so you can move on

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.