I feel like this question could have been written by my husband, but....
I left my full time job when our 2 year old was born, and now I work part time, take care of our son full time, and do 100% of the household labor. Much of my labor, sadly, is unpaid and therefore undervalued. My husband makes a good living and pays the bills, and I keep my small (25% of his) part time income so I can NEVER ask him for anything beyond the bills.
My money goes to things he does not think about, like clothes, a warm jacket, and shoes for our son, because he grew out of the last ones in about three weeks. I also buy everything for the house, like curtains, towels, and new sheets when the old ones wear out, because he would be happy living in a cave if left to his own devices. I’m not talking expensive designer stuff either, I’m talking Walmart, but it adds up. And yes, I buy all my own clothes, make-up, haircuts, etc, and I enjoy not having to ask his permission or argue about the occasional $5 coffee or whatever. He already has pretty much all of me - my body, my labor, my time, and most of my money (because sippy cups for the baby are “frivolous”), and any little crumbs left over I want to keep for myself are too much?
I hope if my husband was unhappy with our arrangement he would tell me... Of course, given our particular circumstances I’d also think he was being kind of a dick. Let’s have that budget convo, but let’s also make sure we tally up the income I’m not getting - how much it would take to hire a full time nanny and a full time housekeeper - and factor that into our cost-sharing analysis.
Don’t put your partner in a situation where you have all the money and she’s always broke... that will lead to nowhere but resentment and the death of the relationship.
I’m sorry if you don’t have kids or your wife is just lazy, then this probably doesn’t apply to you and please forgive me for the rant. 😀