Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 5 months ago

In shock, somewhat, because she says she filed for divorce. We love each other, but there's a history of arguing. Lots of it. What do I do?

I badly want to try to work it out, but she says we've tried that, again and again. It just feels wrong. We're actually very good friends and just clash at times. Advice?

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  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    “When people walk away from you, let them go. Your destiny is never tied to anyone who leaves you, and it doesn't mean they are bad people. It just means that their part in your story is over.” T.D. Jakes

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  • 5 months ago

    In marriage, disagreements are inevitable. Try the following:

    •    Listen. The Bible tells us to be “swift about hearing, slow about speaking, slow about wrath.” (James 1:19) Even if your spouse seems unwilling to listen, you can choose to do so. Try to agree with your mate that you will work together to restore peace to your marriage. Try writing your decisions on paper. When both you and your spouse are committed, saving your marriage becomes a team project.

    •    Identify the problem. In one sentence, write out what you think is lacking or what you wish could change. Understandably, the problem you identify may be different from that noted by your spouse. Strive to explain rather than criticize. In a calm manner, tell your spouse how his or her conduct has affected you. (“I feel hurt when you . . .”) Resist the urge to accuse and criticize. (“You don’t care about me.” “You never listen.”)

    •    Set a goal. Where would you like your marriage to be six months from now? What specific improvements would you like to see? Write your goal on paper. When you have a clear vision as to what you need in your marriage, your goal will be easier to attain.

    •    Apply Bible counsel. Once you have identified your problem and determined the improvements you would like to make, look to the Bible for advice. Its principles are timeless, and they really work. For example, the Bible encourages to be forgiving

    Even if at first your efforts seem futile, do not give up! The book The Case for Marriage reports the encouraging results of one study, stating: “The truth is shocking: 86 percent of unhappily married people who stick it out find that, five years later, their marriages are happier.” Even couples who described themselves as very unhappy experienced a turnaround.

    Many marriages improve when spouses are kind and tenderly compassionate and freely forgive each other. Wives have learned the value of displaying a “quiet and mild spirit,” and husbands have experienced the benefits of not being bitterly angry with their wives.—1 Peter 3:4; Colossians 3:19.

    Source(s): shorturl.at/lyAO7
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  • 5 months ago

    If you can't work out what is going wrong by yourselves " we've tried that, again and again" then its the time to enlist professional help- a certified relationship counselor - since the love is still there. OK?

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  • mmm
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    you need to seek counseling who can help you both learn how to communicate better - there is a chance - if you both want it badly enough

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  • 5 months ago

    Tell her you feel the way you do about her for a reason, because you love her deeply and therefore you're more than willing to meet her halfway. Tell her all the things you bring to the table like loyalty, love, caring and empathy for her. Tell her you're a one woman, man and she is the very girl for you, always has been, always will be.

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  • kristy
    Lv 6
    5 months ago

    Sign the papers and get it over with

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  • 5 months ago

    Tell her exactly how you feel and promise her things that you can keep , if you tell her properly and as much as possible I’m sure that she will see your side of the situation

    Best of luck!

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  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    It sounds like she's had enough and her mind is made up. Someone suggested marriage counselling. Do that if she's agreeable.

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  • LP7
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    Those clashes might be significant to her.Is there a possible compromise?

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  • snafu
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    Sounds like there’s a real disconnect between the way you see things and the way she see’s them? Time for some professional counselling?

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