Is it betraying my husband to see my daughter and granddaughter when she won't see him?

My daughter and my husband, her father, had a huge falling out almost two years ago and they have refused to see or speak to each other since. II completely disagree with the way they are handling the situation. My husband says if I see her when he's not invited it's a betrayal him. Our kids are all... show more My daughter and my husband, her father, had a huge falling out almost two years ago and they have refused to see or speak to each other since. II completely disagree with the way they are handling the situation. My husband says if I see her when he's not invited it's a betrayal him. Our kids are all grown and moved out and he says it's just us now and we have to stick together. My daughter had a baby girl about a year and a half ago and I have seen her only 1 itme, just after she was born. I miss my daughter so much it physically hurts. I have dreamed of the day I could be grandma and I'm missing it. He is adamant about this and has made me choose between them, as has she. He feels so strongly about this and has been so hurt that I believe it would destroy our almost 30 year marriage if I were to see her. I think it's cruel to put me in this position. No mother should ever be iin this position. What can I do?
15 answers 15