My mother may be dying.. What do I do now?
My mother is in the hospital and may be dying. I haven t seen her or spoken to her in more than ten years. After a lifetime of trying to have a decent mother/daughter relationship with her, I finally had to cut her off because of the way she made me feel about myself. I have always longed to feel her love for me and it has effected every aspect of my life. What do I do now?
- 9 months ago
People change on their deathbed.I’ve seen it.I have lost many friends and family.My Aunt came to terms with many regrets right before she passed.I helped her to tell her only daughter of the boy she had given up for adoption.After she passed my cousin found him! It is important to forgive for yourself and the dying have an inherent need to tie loose ends. Forgive so YOU do not carry the heavy burden anymore.Saying your peace with your Mother will be for you and only you.She may or may not give you the love you seek but YOU can give yourself the love you seek.Iknow exactly how you feel. I have been severely hurt time and again by my own Mom. I got to a point when I realized it was time to love the hurting little girl inside me.Mom was never going to do it the way I needed her to.Go see her.Make peace for yourself.Tell her you love her and you are sorry she couldn’t be the Mother you wanted her to be.Know that Behind ALL anger is Pain and that Love heals ALL.Many prayers for you.
- AnnLv 79 months ago
There are several questions to ask yourself: Did your mother cut you off, or did you cut her off? If it was the latter, did she ever try to contact you after you severed the relationship? If you have siblings, did she treat them the same way she behaved toward you, or were you the only object of her abuse? My mother was verbally and emotionally abusive to me, and then I discovered it was because my father had had an affair and then he named me after the girlfriend. My mother had no choice in the matter (this was before the days of easy divorces), and so every time she said my name, it was like a slap in the face to her. I was never close to her, but I did go see her when she was very old, ill, and at death's door. I didn't say anything, but she knew I was in the room. I just sat there quietly. That was enough. You're the only one who can decide in your heart what you feel you need to do.
- Pearl LLv 79 months ago
thats up to you but if shes dying, maybe you should go see her now so you dont regret it later
- zenoLv 79 months ago
Ease your conscience and spend a few days
Worth her. Eventually death comes and there
Is no way out. Enjoy your life while you have
It and accept your death when it comes. No
Fear or regret. Just appreciate the life and
Experiences you where given. My cute little
Chihuahua passed away this year and I gave
Him all the fun I could but I wish I could have
Done more for him. I had no idea he would
Die at ten years. He was energetic and playful
Until the last two or three days and then he
Slowed down and I took him to the vet and
They couldn't save him. I miss him. But that
Is part of life. Losing lives you care about.
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- PamLv 69 months ago
Try forgiving her for whatever she has done to make you feel this way. If she dies, you will never have that chance. Go to see her if you can. I'm sure she would love to see her daughter. try to forgive even if you never forget.
- AnonymousLv 59 months ago
Go see her......💛💛
- Bone AloneLv 79 months ago
Let it be. I haven’t see the old man in over 20 years. He’s in bad health. IDGAF. The next time I see him might be at his funeral, if I decide to go. He was abusive all through my life until I left after college.
- heart o' goldLv 79 months ago
I am in the same situation, estranged from my abusive mother. I know in that situation I would not go to the hospital or even acknowledge that I know she is ill.
You may want to read some Peg Streep, who writes extensively about daughters of abusive mothers.
- Anonymous9 months ago
it sounds like you would regret not seeing her in her final days, and this is something you won't get an opportunity to do again, I say go visit her so you don't regret not doing so latter, you probably won't end up regretting doing so
- Anonymous9 months ago
She cut you off, its best to leave her alone if she wont change. Sometimes in life you just gotta move on from bad relationships.....even if its your own mother