You're comparing two very different things here. With the guy, it's him being attracted to her and so not wanting to hear that she is attracted to someone else. With the girl, her outrage would be about the guy talking that way about any girl--in other words, the principle of it. One is personal, the other isn't.
And about the first situation...Okay, maybe such behavior on her part wouldn't exactly be the height of consideration. But if a guy gets friend-zoned and settles for being friends with a girl he wants a romantic relationship with...well, maybe having to hear about her desire for or involvement with other guys goes with the territory. Maybe he'd be better off not being friends with such a girl in the first place.