Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 6 months ago

How to handle a big change in a relationship?

So I met this girl at work and one thing led to another and now we are together. I know people say avoid relationships at work and I see why now, but let's not focus on that please.

So at first it was like any other relationship; spending loads of time together, always messaging, getting to know each other. Then after 2-3 months it started moving to the more comfortable stage which took me back a bit.

I managed to get over that but now we are at a point where she wants to spend less time with me. She isn't in the best living arrangement at the moment which will be changing in the next month or so, but I feel that I am becoming somewhat of a 'work boyfriend'. The fact that we see each other essentially every day (don't work on the same team / department) she is saying that because we have lunch nearly every day and walk back to the bus stop essentially every day, she sees me a lot and when it comes to evening and weekends she wants he own time. For me, I don't see this as 'quality' time together and still want to spend and evening in the week with her or at least every other weekend / 1 day and night with her on the weekend.

How do I tell her that the time we do spend together (walking around the shops near work at lunch / to the bus stop) is not how I want to base our relationship and that compromise needs to happen from both of us?

I don't want it to come across like I am suffocating her, but at the same time I just need a bit more out of her in this relationship.

1 Answer

  • 6 months ago

    Good communication is the key to any long lasting relationship. Pick a good time and bring up your concerns in a respectful way.

    The key question here is whether or not she's a strong woman. A strong person has good character (honesty, integrity, trustworthiness), displays a positive attitude (cheerful, caring, friendly, forgiving, helpful, and respectful), fulfills their responsibilities (for handling people who are pains in a positive way, for always trying to make a good choice, for taking care of themselves, for serving others), gives their best effort, and demonstrates self-control (of their body, anger, mouth and money).

    My suggestion is that you put in the effort necessary to become a strong person (if you’re not already), break up with this girl in a kind way unless she’s a strong person, and eventually look for this type of girl (otherwise you’re setting yourself up for a broken heart). Unfortunately this type of woman is difficult to find - but save yourself the heartache and don’t settle for less.

    (Please remember that you eventually want a 50 or 60 year marriage - not a 5 or 10 year marriage.)

    Hope this helps!

    Source(s): The book True Love Lasts
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