Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 12 months ago

Should she leave?

My best friend has 4 sons and a husband.

Her oldest is 21 a high school drop out a pothead with a major attitude hates authority and has no respect for his parents. Everthing she tells him not to do he does. He speaks badly to his girlfriend as well. He thinks nothing is wrong with him. He never made anything easy. He fought about doing homework, having a tutor, having to clean, having to fold clothes, having to be places on time etc. He can't keep a job. He doesn't follow through on any responsibilities (wash dishes, take out garbage etc). If he does have money he won't use it on his bills. His phone is in his girlfriends name. He's the type to tell you what he wants to do and he expects you to adapt. He's been locked up shortly for stealing and had a year to pay a 700 fine and he didnt do it. Sometimes he says he needs help but he never takes it. He usually says this after getting thrown out the house for disrespect. He's stolen and pawned his mother's items with no remorse. He never says sorry. He constantly tells them they are not always right and they don't know everything. He's really skinny she thinks he has an eating disorder. He thinks his parents are against him because we don't see things in his way. She's sad because the bad times outweigh the good times. She doesn't know where she went wrong. Sadly she can't think of anything he's good at.

13 Answers

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    12 months ago

    If your question is should a mother abandon her other three children because one of them turned out to be a loser, obviously not. This question doesn't indicate any marital discord or any problem with the other kids. It's just a screed against this oldest son...which bears no relationship at all to whether this woman should leave her husband.

  • 12 months ago

    "He's stolen and pawned his mother's items... He's been locked up shortly for stealing...If he does have money he won't use it on his bills...He's really skinny she thinks he has an eating disorder."

    Very obvious he has a disorder's a drug addiction disorder.

    His mom failed to see the obvious as she failed to properly raise him as well.

  • 12 months ago

    Should SHE leave? Ummmm, NOOOOO.

    She needs to kick that freeloader out of her house.

    She created him and it was her total lack of parenting that caused that kid to be an ultimate loser.

  • Eva
    Lv 7
    12 months ago

    Why would she leave? The parents should kick his *** to the curb. They are enabling his behavior and he need to crash and burn on his own. He sees no reason to change because he's too comfortable where he is.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    12 months ago

    probably but thats up to her if she wants to leave or not

  • Anonymous
    12 months ago

    Tell your friend to kick that piece of trash OUT. Change the locks, and tell her son to get lost. He is 21 years old, and he is a loser.

    I graduated from college when I was his age.

  • 12 months ago

    I suspect that this 21 year old boychild has other drug issues besides pot.

    You wonder if she should "leave" because her oldest son has major concerns? Just dump her 3 younger children and her husband because her 21 year old trouble child is still being allowed to suck on the parental tit?

    How is that a solution to anything human? She has 3 other children at home! I think it's a good idea to have a drop dead move out date for the 21 year old. Job or not.

  • 12 months ago

    The person you describe has characteristics consistent with addiction. Your friend needs to understand that she can't change her son. Only he can do that. Arguably, she is doing him a disfavor by continuing her relationship that finances at least part of his abuse.

    Sounds like it's tough love time.

  • 12 months ago

    Sadly this is not unusual for a child of this age. It's just immaturity, and a phase he will grow out of. The error was giving this child to much entitlement to not have to follow the rules. The cure is to let him leave the nest and make his way in the world, following the rules the world demands without swooping in to rescue him when he gets into trouble. Some people just need to learn the hard way, but the good news is that once his reality changes, the learning curve catches up pretty quick.

  • 12 months ago

    The son needs to change and be disciplined.

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