Most people that struggle with a desire to live is because of the reason God spoke about in the Bible:
Proverbs 29:18 Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.
You need a vision, a goal, a destination.
Imagine a boat in the ocean just floating and going up and down the waves, versus a boat in the ocean that has all engines on and has a clear destination and everyone on board works together to reach that destination.
What is you vision?
The you have people that have a vision or destination that is evil and contrary to the will of God who created everything on earth and in heaven. How can you have a goal that contradticts HIS plans?
People that do will end up regretting it, guaranteed.
So my suggestion is to give your life, soul and spirit to Jesus Christ fully and entirely.
He loves you so much more than you think, and you have no idea what he has in store for those who also love him:
1. Corinthians 2:9 But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.
So give you life to Jesus, ask HIM to give you a vision, and then GO.
You will know when he gives you a vision. You can feel it. You can see it. He does speak.
So why live on earth in misery like a boat being tossed by the waves with no direction, and then die some day end end up in eternal fire?
Isn't is much better to surrender your heart to you creator, ask him to heal your heart, get a vision, experience his tangible love for you, and then when you die you end up in paradise seeing things you never imagined possible?
And it is very simple. You just need to repent and ask HIM to come into your heart. The rest comes...
How to accept Jesus Christ as your personal Savior and Lord?
It is the easiest thing in the world. Just close your eyes, focus on him and pray something like this:
"Lord Jesus, I repent of all my sins and I ask you to wash me clean. I am sorry for all the bad things I have done and the many times I broke God's Will. Please forgive me and fill me with the gift of the Holy Spirit. I want to belong to God. I want to be adopted into his family as his child. Come into my heart. I give you control over my life. Please lead me through the Holy Spirit and make your Word real to me. Fill my soul with the peace that surpasses understanding and help me change so that I may lead a life that is pleasing to you. I want to go to heaven and I want to be called by the Fathers name. As of today I declare that I belong to you". Amen
If you do this with all of your heart you will start noticing subtle changes inside of you and step by step your life will change. I am speaking from experience.