Can a man really love you if he has been with other women?
Meaning shared a big portion of his life with another woman (for six years). He never asked to marry her. He has asked to marry me. However he shared his body and heart with this woman who he lived with for 3 years. I don’t believe he can truly appreciate me and my body. What’s your thoughts?
- 6 months ago
Yes. Men still are human and not that different from women. Before my current partner, I was with the same man for 7 years. I love my partner with all my heart, in a deeper and different way than I ever loved my ex.
That's not a jab at exes (mine or your man's), but it's just to illustrate that every relationship and love is different and you can love someone fully after being with someone else.
- historyLv 76 months ago
I think that you have an "innocent" approach to love. I wed a man who had been married 3x's before! Yes, I am my husband's 4th wife. And he loves me in a way he never even dreamed himself capable of. By the time we hit 13 years (31 years in now), we'd been wed longer than his first 3 wives combined!
Yes, people can grow, change, realign themselves, learn new things, and deeply love new and other people.
- Mr.PersonaLv 56 months ago
Unlike some who trash your viewpoint due to modern norms, let me be clear with you. Your concern makes sense, however, let me project for a moment. If I was the guy, sure, I have shared my care and body with that other women, but as for my heart? I don't attempt to state this with arrogance, but how many people can truly understand the heart of another? If I was that guy, I would've shared fun times but not my heart--after all, who can understand one's heart? In my eyes, only after being together for a lengthy period of time and going over a myriad of situations can another begin to sculpt out, in their mind, a shape of what your heart is like. However, even then, it wont be completely accurate.
Again, perhaps he did share his heart with her. Some people trust that others are capable of something so deep.
Regardless, as a guy, I can at least claim he will appreciate your body. As for the rest, that's left for your analysis. Presumably he chose you because what he views "your being" as one that aligns more with him than the other woman. Of course, this is where more info. would be needed for a clearer judgement call, i.e. why didn't he marry her.
Anyhow, relationships, especially on the level of marriage require trust. So you must figure out in your heart if you're willing to trust his love for you to be true. Only in taking that risk do you allow for a potentially long-lasting relationship. If not, you'll always be worried about his feelings being fake and, like a self-fulfilling prophecy, lead the relationship down the path of failure.
tl;dr concerns make sense. He chose you for a reason. Without trust, the relationship is doomed to failure.
- HypnosLv 46 months ago
Most men and women have been in previous relationships before they meet the one, and just because they have been doesn't mean a part of them is still attached to their ex. The length of time doesn't define the strength of the relationship, trust me, I was with a guy 3 years and he was toxic for me. Honestly for me it was over before it was really over and I hadn't felt connected to him in a long time, I was just too scared to pull the plug because he'd always guilt me out if it. After we broke up it didn't take me long to get over it and most of my resentment or anger came from how he treated me not how I felt for him. I met someone fairly quickly after the fact, not intentionally, but I just had a connection with this guy that was too good to let go. I told him everything, and he worked through it with me. We've been together 1.5 years now and I know I'm going to spend the rest of my life with him, something I'm so sure of with him that with my ex I couldn't even really picture after 3. He wouldn't have proposed to you if he saw himself ending up with his ex. Everyone has a past, you either choose to accept it or you don't but either way it doesn't change anything.
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- ?Lv 76 months ago
Theres a case to be made that a man cant love you unless hes been with other women, because he doesnt have any context for whether the relationship is a good one.
- Mark IXLv 76 months ago
I think you're an idiot. What, you've never been in a relationship before?