Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 5 months ago

Need a father figure for my son. What should I do?

Me and my husband are no longer on good terms. We are still living together but are talking divorce, and he is not a good father figure to our son. I am looking for ways to reinforce his lack of father skills. But I don’t know where to turn. I want to get my son involved in activities that will expose him to good men, men who will teach him about responsibility and respect but I don’t know which ones to go to.

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  • 5 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Get your husband to get your son involved with sports. This will be fun for the child, but more importantly will expose your husband to other fathers to see how they interact with their children enabling him to "learn" how to be a good dad too.

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  • 5 months ago

    beat him with a belt and drink a lot of whiskey

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  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    A couple of things. I don't fully agree w/ people saying he doesn't need a father figure, although this term can be interpreted differently. He does need healthy and strong male influences, esp if he's an only child. So it's not about finding "a" father figure. It's more about role models.

    Sports and scouting are both ideal for this. This includes sporting offshoots, like Indian Guides, etc. Also, don't forget about extended family. My sister ended up divorced, and she made sure her son had heavy contact with our brother-in-law, who is a terrific dad.

    Finally, and maybe most importantly, you say his dad isn't a good role model, and this may very well be true. However, odds are high his dad will want and get visitation, so you need to walk a fine line here. It will be much better for your son if you and his dad remain amicable and try to get on the same page as much as possible. This means you pick your battles. If he's a weekend dad into fast food, this isn't a battle. Save that for more serious issues, and when you talk to him, try to avoid pointing fingers. Instead, keep it neutral and try to talk about how certain behaviors impact his son.

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  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    It's more important to protect your son from potential pedophiles than to have a father figure. My husband died four years ago so far I haven't installed a father figure though I've had many options. I would have liked to but there were always catches. Be VERY careful.

    Also my sons did find father figures at school.

    Also you worded this question badly You said "I want to reinforce his lack of parenting skills" Reinforce means to make something stronger. If you made the lack stronger that would mean more lack which would mean making it worse. It almost read like you were saying you wanted to reinforce to your child that his dad had poor parenting skills but I get that that is not what you meant either.

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  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    I think what he needs is a step father. You should try to divorce your husband, and start looking, for another man WHO is not like your husband. Before you start looking, I suggest you, or your husband separate, so both of you stop living with each other.

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  • 5 months ago

    First, get a divorce. As far a reinforcing his lack of father skills why would you do that? Are you always prone to pouring gas on a fire? Get your son into organized sports is my suggestion.

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    You might look into the Big Brothers program.

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  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    It is not necessary to have a penis to teach a child responsibility and respect. You're the parent. Do your job.

    As far as exposing your son to "good" men, they are everywhere from school to house of worship to extra curricular activities like music and sports and perhaps your son has grandfathers and uncles as well.

    But do not think for one minute that it is someone else's job to teach your child responsibility and respect. It's yours.

    The fact that you think women can't teach responsibility and respect is sickening and offensive. It's also not a good message to teach your son. If you don't respect women how will your son respect women? You are TEACHING HIM that women are incapable.

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  • Helen
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    Perhaps let the ink dry on your divorce papers first.

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  • 5 months ago

    Boy scouts, big brother or take him around his grandparents or family friends

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