Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 5 months ago

As a mother wife and aunt how should I respond to this?

To cut to the chase I found out my husband and nephew had sex with a family friend of ours who’s about my nephews age and wayyy young than my husband . My husband and I have been fighting since the incident and my nephew has tried to apologize. I don’t want this to ruin my marriage cause we have a two year old son but I don’t know what to think at the moment any advice may be taken

23 Answers

Relevance
  • Good
    Lv 6
    5 months ago

    Well now, this is interesting. First off, this is not about

    your nephew. It was mutual between him and her. It's

    not your business, period. Stay out of it.

    Hubby? Now, that's a little different. Understand right

    now that younger women have appeal to older men.

    Sexual appeal. Probably nothing more than that.

    Let's take a peek at what just came out of your own

    mouth.

    >> " My husband and I have been fighting since the

    incident......I don’t want this to ruin my marriage cause

    we have a two year old son."

    You are only fighting about this because you keep

    bringing it up. Don't keep beating him over the head

    with it. I'm sure by now that he has no doubt that it was

    a huge mistake. We are all human and we all make

    mistakes, even you. We learn by our mistakes.

    Hopefully he learned as well.

    Inform him in no uncertain terms that any other mistakes

    like this means the end of life as he knows it and that

    one of you will be out the door with no questions asked.

    You have to find a way to get past this, to forgive, and

    move forward. If your only desire to keep the marriage

    going is for the sake of your child, you have a big problem,

    and that problem is yourself. Be the bigger person and be

    the wife he thought he was getting when you first got married.

    If men are happy in their marriage, they rarely notice other

    women. Be the woman he can't live without and he will never

    want to risk losing you again.

    .

    .

  • 5 months ago

    I understand the desire to stay with the father of your child, but this shows such an incredibly serious lapse in judgement you may be better off without him.

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    I'd try marriage counseling before you pull the plug on this.

  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    if you do not know YA is not where you will find out

  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • 5 months ago

    My husband would be dead hence why I'm not married men are tiresome. Don't marry me impregnate me and do sh.it like this . I'll for sure kill you!

  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    I partly agree with Sarah, but she wasn't married. This is a very big difference.

    First, get the nephew out of the equation. I don't understand why he's there to begin with, and it even sounds like he didn't do anything wrong. This is about your marriage.

    I have 2 friends who went through this. In one case, the marriage survived and it seems to be doing great. In the other, it did not survive. What matters most is that your husband needs to understand he has committed the biggest trust violation one person can do to another. You don't sound stupid, meaning you're too smart to regain your trust in him simply because he promises never to do it again. Also, there's no way cheating can occur without lying, even if it's lying by omission. So he's also been dishonest.

    The best "litmus test" of whether or not your spouse fully gets the damage he's done, and he wants to save your marriage, is if he's willing to go to couples counseling. Book the appt when you know he's available. If he does this, there's always hope. If he won't, your marriage is already over. He's indirectly telling you he's not willing to work through what happened, and he doesn't care if you're unhappy. There's nothing to save.

  • K8
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    This is my opinion. You need to decide for yourself.

    Your husband already chose to ruin your marriage. He broke his vows and decided to be a weak, faithless, cheating man.

    I have been married a long time and take my vows seriously. Both my husband and I agree that infidelity is a deal breaker. Cheating ends the marriage. It breaks the vows and the trust.

    As for the nephew, ick is what I think. I would be upset with my nephew, but he has no vows with me. It would probably change our relationship which would be sad.

    It's your life so you decide.

  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    I dont know think with ur own head

  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    Arguing with your husband? You should make it clear to him that he has breached the marriage vows, and seriously harmed your relationship. If you expect him to be faithful to you in the future, collect the kid and move back to your mother's or a close relative's house. Tell hubby you want to believe there will never be another breech like this and be skeptical about his assurances. Settle when he agrees to a marital contract where his cheating a second time results in the loss of all common assets, and a specified weekly obligation equal to 2/3 of his salary. If he loves you,he'll comply. If not, good riddance.

  • 5 months ago

    I suggest you see a counselor to sort out your feelings.

    I understand the desire to stay with the father of your child, but this shows such an incredibly serious lapse in judgement you may be better off without him.

Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.