Should I end things with my boyfriend of 3 years?

Hi, I’m 29 years old I’ve been with my boyfriend now for about 3 years and 6 months. We have been living together for 1 year and a half. Up untill we moved in together things were going fine. After we moved in together things have started going down hill. I started to think more and more about our future together and I don’t see it. He is broke every single month, we rarely go out to eat and is struggling to save money month by month. I said this to him on many occasions and I said to him how are we going to have a future together if he’s always skinned. He said not everyone is good at saving. I feel like as a man he should have stability and think about the future. Also our sex life is non existent. He never gets intimate with me or tries to. He says it’s because I’m too bitter and that I’m always giving out. I’m giving out because he is always lazy, I pick up after himself, have to remind him to clean up such as bring the rubbish out and cleaning up in general. So I said if that’s a problem why don’t you talk to me. It bothers me that he doesn’t see these problems and just continues living with me and thinks everything is fine. Overall he is a great guy, doesn’t go out drinking, partying and he’s close with his family, but I feel like I don’t have a future with him and there is no chemistry between us anymore. I feel like the spark is gone. I’m also worried I won’t find someone better especially at my age. What should I do?

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  • Janet
    Lv 7
    5 months ago
    Favorite Answer

    Things DO go fine at first. And once you are with someone, the problems start to surface. This is greatest after about 1-3 years of living together.

    Things will get worse before they get better .. and it takes 15-20 years of marriage for them to get better.

    So if you have tried everything and nothing changes and you are not happy with it, then don't waste much more time being unhappy.

    Understand that no matter who we get together with, there will be imperfections and issues, even if we saw no indication of them before we moved in with them.

    Also understand that the "spark" is not love. It is our subconscious reacting to their subconscious signals by releasing neurochemicals that make us "high" over the other. And that sooner or later, our brain returns to normal and the "spark" dies.

    Love is a choice and an action . not our attachment to how WE feel.

    And as for chemistry, the stronger it is at the start, the worse the relationship turns out to be.

    You are worried you won't find someone better?

    Better to live alone and learn how to be happy and whole and complete .. than to resign yourself to an unsatisfying life with someone you are not happy with.

    So what if you never find someone better? Worse things could happen in life.

    He is who he is .. and you either accept him for who he is .. or you should not be with him. No judgement here .. you are the only one who knows what you can and cannot accept, and the only one who knows if you can accept who he is .. or not.

  • 5 months ago

    If you don’t want to be with him, don’t force yourself

  • ron h
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    No sex, no money. You say he doesn't go out drinking. Does either of you stay home and drink a little too much? (that's permanently damaged my marriage) Unless you see something changing, it's time to go. Make plans to bail when the lease is up.

  • 5 months ago

    You could always get a break or actually break up with him and see if he relizes what he lost and makes some changes to his life. If he changes and makes efforts to get you back into his life then good, if not then you know what you what from a guy and get it from another dude.

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  • 5 months ago

    Rememeber. He seems not to go in the same direction as you do. It would be perfect if he started a job and sorta chipped in, but you need company, amd you will likely never get a soulmate again if you leave him. So yoi re single forever. Enjoy!

  • 5 months ago

    Homie, if you have to ask yahoo, then you need to break up with him. It sounds like you have given this a lot of thought and you’re genuinely unhappy (and he sounds pretty shítty tbh). You’ll find someone else that you actually like and that actually like you.

  • 5 months ago

    You can’t have a future or family with someone unwilling to change, pick up after themselves, not save money, etc. if the sparks are gone the connection is gone. You’re young. You’ll find someone better

  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    Dump him for sure once the sparks gone it's gone it ain't coming back.... And for **** sake your 29 not 59 you will find someone for sure

  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    He doesnt seem like he has any interest in changing.

    Source(s): .56
  • 5 months ago

    Your last statement is alarming to me. WHAT, you think you need to settle with an unhappy relationship rather than be single until you find a man who makes you happy??

    You are wasting your life on your boyfriend. He is equally unhappy with you but he has no money to move, so, in essence, he is using you for a place to live, possibly.

    You know you are not happy. You know your relationship with him is dead. You know there is no future with him. Why bother with him in the first place?? You do realize that the first opportunity that he gets, he will leave you, right? Why put your fate in his hands?

    You are 29, not 99. Who on earth brainwashed you into thinking you are too old to find a good man? That is just a ridiculous thought.

    Hell yes, you should end things with your boyfriend.

  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    I am a single male, and I am in my thirties. I am saving money! I have about 21 thousand dollars saved up. I am making investments, and I am saving.

    Well good luck finding someone else if that's what you want.

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