This one is definitely tricky, because each person is different. That means each parent is different, just like each child is different. Some kids grow to appreciate things they didn't think they would like with a little pressure, and other children are more sensitive and are harmed by the pressure. If it was abusive, it's a good bet that it was not intentional, and your hard assed dad and boyfriend may never understand how much it upset you because they just aren't that sensitive about it. Contrary to what we believe our entire childhoods, our parents are not without their faults, and a huge part gaining your own mental stability is to learn to forgive them even if they aren't aware that you are doing so, and let past digressions go. You're old enough now to stand your ground against things like this that may make you uncomfortable now, and you absolutely should. You don't have to be mean about it; just explain to your boyfriend/parents that whatever it is in question makes you uncomfortable, even if they don't understand why.