Should I leave? I have lived with my boyfriend for just over 9 years & we have 1 child together. He is 38 & I am 45.?

We live in a house that his parents own, but they do not live here with us. They told me to treat it as my own, but then if I do something they don't like they have a fit. He does work full time, but his money is deposited into his checking account that his parents control. They pay all of his bills out of his account including his child support for his 2 kids by his ex-wife. I buy all the food for our household and pay the cable, internet and phone and cell phones out of my money. He doesn't want to take control of his own money because he says they wouldn't help us out if we needed it if he did. But if he wants something he has to go to them and sit down and have a conversation about the item he wants and how it will benefit him. We live in the south and AC is a must in they summer. When the AC went out in my car I took our daughter to an appointment and the owner was just pulling in as I did. She approached my car to speak, immediately grabbed my daughter out of her carseat took her inside stripped her down and wrapped wet towels around her. She said she was close to having a heat stroke. I couldn't get them to help me get the AC fixed in my car. They won't babysit our daughter. I have become very depressed over the last 2 to 3 years and I'm ready to leave, I'm just so afraid of not being able to make it on my own with a 5 year old daughter.

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  • 12 months ago
    Favourite answer

    You should have left as soon as you discovered he was a wimp and his folks total control freaks.

    How do you expect yourself - and your child - to thrive when your entire life is being run by someone else? Basically you are his folks 'hobby'. They don't have a life - so to make up for it they run your life... now you don't have a life, all you have is an existence. You are basically a modern day slave. Very much like the old coal mine workers who lived in company owned houses, were paid in company script, and forced to shop at the company store. Without access to real money - there was no way for those coal miners to improve their life or leave.

    Pack up anything of value, grab your kid and go visit the local women's shelter. You are an abused adult. If you don't feel ready for that - then at least set up a 'go fund me' page and ask for donations. Come back here, ask for advice and post a link to the page. I would donate.

    • Sunniestminx12 months agoReport

      It's funny u used the coal mines as example. I am from a coal mining family. I was unable to work due to taking care of our daughter she is disabled & until this year when she started school full time I didn't work. I got on with the school system but it's only part time.I am trying to go fulltime.

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  • 12 months ago

    Listen to your heart my g

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  • 12 months ago

    Money is a terrible thing and is one of the main cause for divorce/breakups.

    You didn’t give much detail about your husband just that he has no control over the money. And people in these comments failed to ask you, Do you love your husband? Do you and him get along? Are you happy when you see him after he been gone? If not then I agree leave. but if you answered yes to the questions I suggest talking to to him and tell him exactly what you told us on this post and explain truly to him how it’s pushing you to leave if it doesn’t change.

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  • 12 months ago

    So you are upset with his parents for not helping you get your car air conditioner fixed?

    That seems strange. They don't owe it to you. MIne went out one summer, and it cost an arm

    and a leg to get fixed.

    But I can understand you feeling frustrated over the fact that your boyfriend

    doesn't control his own money. I don't think anyone would like that too much.

    It sounds like it's crowded in that family. If you ever got married, you'd be

    marrying his parents, too.

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  • 12 months ago

    sounds like me. he's a pussy. His parents out the house and we pay for everything. well I do. He pays the mortgage which is really.low as he took our taxes to lower the monthly payment. he's a dick if I don't come home from work shop take care of kids and schooling and dinner. yet he works and says he has no money and goes to bed. His parents only what my youngest son and have all his financial info. it's pathetoc. if I could leave I would.

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  • 12 months ago

    If you leave then he will pay child support for three kids. I doubt he is paying any kind of rent.

    • Sunniestminx12 months agoReport

      Supposedly he is, but Idoubt it. Because w/ the amount he makes, less child support, then water, electric, sewer, trash. There not much left to pay rent. Also his child support is more than half of what he makes per month, but his parents will not let him have it reassed based on what he makes now.

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  • Janet
    Lv 7
    12 months ago

    He's your boyfriend.

    He has not committed to a life with you, nor with sharing his material resources with you.

    But then, YOU need to be responsible for your support anyway. That is what an adult does, regardless of whether or not they are male or female.

    YOU are responsible for fixing the AC in your car.

    Especially since you live with someone who is NOT your partner.

    Your depression is self-caused. Your self-statements have created brain pathways that trigger depression.

    As far as not being able to make it on your own .. fix that. Get a different job or upgrade your qualifications/training/education so you CAN support yourself.

    Even if you were married, that would not be a guarantee of financial security. ALL women MUST be able to support themselves.

    You have to create your own solutions. Stop depending on other to make your life work for you.

    And stop feeding yourself cognitive self-statements that feed your depression.

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  • Eva
    Lv 5
    12 months ago

    Any guy that still runs to mommy and daddy for everything is a loser. You should leave and file for child support. You've stayed in this situation far too long.

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  • 12 months ago

    thats up to you if you want to leave hirn

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  • Anonymous
    12 months ago

    asking the same question over and over is a sign of mental illness .

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