Is girlfriend really in it for the long run?
I’m 26 and my girlfriend is 22. We’ve been dating for 4 months now and things have been going well.
She’s self employed and very ambitious. I work a 9-5 job and do stuff on the side as well but not on the level she is on which is a slight concern.
We text everyday and see each other 1-2 times a week. But I’ve realised that I’m always the one putting more effort in this relationship. She texts me first nearly every morning and we text throughout the day everyday since we first met.
I’ve realised that it’s always me asking about her day, what she’s eaten, what she’s doing etc. She hardly asks about me and when I tell her about something, she just acknowledges it as if she doesn’t really care.
So far, she seems like a loyal girl and doesn’t talk to anyone else. But I’ve discovered that she doesn’t like when a guy is controlling and tells her what to do etc.
Main point is, I feel she doesn’t give me as much as I’m giving her. She’s only recently started being self employed and did ask for some time to get it all sorted, and once everything financially is under control, she can give me her full attention. That’s 1-2 years she says.
Should I be waiting for her to settle things with the business first or should she really be giving me full attention like I do to her?
- JuanaLv 45 months ago
You sound needy. LOL! Relax, its only been 4 months. WAY too soon to tell if she is in it for the long run.
- historyLv 75 months ago
Four months in and you think you need to know what she's eating and doing all day every day? Just "No" to that! That's not "full attention". It's also not trust. Nor respect of her time. It's really demanding though.
She really might not care what you've eaten today. Or everywhere you went or everyone you talked to. And, since you are an adult... why should she? You don't need her protection or her mothering or her as an authority figure in your life. She's a new girlfriend! Someone to have fun with! To cherish getting to know. She doesn't need your protection or your Daddying or you as an authority figure in her life either. You are a man she likes dating.
At four months, in an adult life, that's enough. At four months... that's enough. And it's too soon to be talking "really in it for the long run". If you are really interested in the "long run" with this gal.... don't scare her off by treating her like a child who is misbehaving by not informing you of where she is repeatedly during the day. Or acting like YOU need to be monitored and tracked.
My guess is that she respects the fact you can likely take care of yourself. And she likes your company. In real life, the two of you have really just begun to start dating. Enjoy it. You're dating, not adopting.
- Mr. SmartypantsLv 75 months ago
It's not easy for a young, ambitious person to find the right balance between work and relationships. But a relationship depends mainly on communication, on understanding one another. So you should talk about it. You should be honest about your feelings and your concern over her priorities.
My own feeling (just a feeling) is that a super-ambitious workaholic 22 year old who thinks her career/financial situation will be all squared away in a year or two is kidding herself.
- tonyLv 75 months ago
As a man I KNOW how easy it is to become Captain Save-A-Hoe. I realize that a woman’s beauty can blind us to her secret motives and her otherwise more obvious damage. But, just incase you CAN’T see the trees for the forrest (because her rack is so epic) perhaps this list will help you filter out some poor choices while you search for Mrs. Perfect A-s.filter these women out at your own risk. Pros: She latches onto you for comfort and support… this can make you feel needed and loved.
Con’s: You’re like a bandaid to her real problems, not the cure. She might appreciate your efforts but her real underlying problems are NOT your responsibility.