The performance review you received is appropriate.
There is so much more to job performance than you getting your work done well every day. Part of the job is getting along with your coworkers and the bosses, treating people with kindness and respect, pulling your weight, not being offended at every little thing. Some people call that office politics, others call it upwards management, you managing your relationship with your supervisors and bosses. I find it interesting that you call it ***-kissing. It's not. It's called successful management of relationships.
You seem to take the position that everybody should kiss your *** and bow down to you because you refuse to bow down to the boss. No one is asking you to bow down to the boss, just to be friendly and "available."
When you go to lunch with the group and don't contribute to anything, and you don't make eye contact with the VP, or engage him in any way, it says loud and clear you have some self-esteem issues. When the boss comes in and you shut your office door, you are saying that you are unavailable and unapproachable. When you say, in sum and substance, Why should I get to know the boss? He doesn't try to get to know me, what you're really saying is he's wrong for not getting to know you, as if he's obligated to do so, as if you want anyone to get to know you in the first place, as evinced by the fact that you shut your door when he comes around. Think you it's wise to alienate your boss this way?
You're offended that you have to take out the trash sometimes? The fact that she mentions it to you shows you that other people do take out the trash, and you think you're too good to take out the trash. You are passively showing everyone else what you think of them: You're better than everyone else. The fact that she tells you that you need to not let other people's attitude run over you shows that you get offended too easily and you are standoffish.
You say you haven't been in the workforce for very long but you're pretty sure they're not supposed to go like this? Reread your own second-to-last sentence. You haven't been in the workforce for very long. So how would you know what a performance review is supposed to be?
Now reread your very last sentence: "What should I do and do I have the right to be upset about how it went?"
A. Take what your supervisor says, who only has your success in mind, and be a little introspective. The words that you say about you mirror what she has said about you. That means you need to change some behaviors and attitudes.
B. No, you don't have the right to be upset, but you're looking for a right to be upset. That should tell you more about you than anything else. For what? Because your boss tells you you have a sh*tty attitude? You do. Change it or you'll be out of a job, and another job, and another job, and another job, and another job.
If you can do the three or four LITTLE things that she told you to work on, you will find that you will be much happier in your job, the VP and the boss and your coworkers will appreciate you more, and your next performance review will be much better. Or don't and get fired. Up to you.
I'm not trying to be harsh with you, far from it. Just explaining why it's appropriate and explain the things that the boss is telling you and why, and how it looks to her. I have hired and fired a lot of people over the years. The ones who keep the job are the ones who are friendly, approachable, and don't get offended so easily. The ones who lose the jobs are the ones who are difficult, complain a lot, standoffish, and make it clear to everyone else that they don't want to be there. That is passive aggressive behavior and it won't get you very far in life.