My boyfriend said he’ll never be excited to have a baby?
He has a child all ready, I have none. He’s very wishy washy about this subject. He’s told me he plans on marrying me and that he wants to wait until we’re married/two years to have a baby. Then he said he’ll never “try” to have a child, be excited or jump for joy if I tell him I’m pregnant. So I asked him “well if you’re okay with having one once we’re married but you don’t want to try how am I supposed to know when I can stop taking BC” and he said “once you have a ring on your finger.” I don’t get it.
- motivatedjay_c0mLv 55 months ago
Listen to what he is saying or you only have yourself to blame
- kimLv 75 months ago
I personally never liked kids except one until I had my own. It's an acquired taste.
- FoofaLv 75 months ago
If you truly can't understand why it's important to be in a (legally) committed relationship BEFORE having a baby then you're not ready for parenthood. That said, you can't force a reticent guy into fatherhood and expect results any different from what he's done in the past. The fact that he's got a child yet is still single to date you doesn't speak well of his dedication (or lack thereof) to the children he creates.
- Alan HLv 75 months ago
He plainly does not want another child till you are married.....
But i# not committing then....time to move on
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- tellitlikeitisLv 75 months ago
Then listen to what he's saying. Not everyone want any kids and he's happy having one. This is the sort of thing you really should be talking about and it's good that you are, but hear what he's saying. He really doesn't care about having another child. He's going to be OK with it and nothing more, if you want one after your marriage, but ideally he's fine with the one he's got. All you need to 'get', is that if it's important to you that he be uber excited about the chance of a child with you, you are with the wrong man. And good to find that out now, don't you think. Why keep pushing him for something he doesn't want?
- TealLv 75 months ago
He doesn't want to have any more kids. Ever. Even if you get married, he will always have another excuse to put it off. He can't just tell you this outright or you would break up with him, so he is going to dodge the question and drag it out as long as he can. There are also some red flags that he may have already had a vasectomy. If having children is important to you, break up and move on. Why would you want a man to father your children if he is anything less than enthusiastic about them? They deserve better.
- KellyLv 75 months ago
He already told you he wants to have more kids after you are married, not before. So you stop BC after you are married, but also revisit the topic to make sure you're both ready for a child.
Men and women react quite differently to having a baby. Women it's real to them as soon as she finds out she's pregnant, often men it's real to them when the baby is born. As far as pregnancy excitement, that's generally more prevalent for a first time father.
- Anonymous5 months ago
Let me explain this - he isn't ready to have a child when he's not married. He may NEVER be ready to have a child whether he's married or not. If YOU want a child, I'd find another boyfriend/fiance. I suspect that if your birth control fails he is going to walk away, and you are going to raise the child by yourself.
I married a man who was (likewise) wishy washy about children. He spent a lot of his free time pointing out pregnant women, how shapeless they were, how men lose their sex drive when their partner is pregnant, how women never regain their figures. I got the picture. He didn't want children.
I divorced him, because I did want children. I wish he had been more honest from the beginning.
- Anonymous5 months ago
What is your question?
I don't "get" why you would consider subjecting a child to a father who doesn't want it and subjecting him to a child he doesn't want.
Selfish cow you are.
ETA: What part of "I will never try to have a child" did you not understand? People who want children actually attempt to have them.
- naughtydogg70Lv 75 months ago
It's simple. He wants to wait. He isn't ready now. Women complain that guys never tell them what they're thinking. Your bf makes his wishes crystal clear and you still complain.