Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 6 months ago

Is this normal parent behavior?

Do you find it normal that parents still demand from their 16 (almost 17) year old daughter that she has to complete her homework and study for at least 2 hours every day before she can leave the house again or use any of her technology (phone and laptop) unless she needs them for studying? They also turn off the WiFi at 10 pm even on weekends and take her phone for a few days whenever she gets a bad grade or does something wrong in general. Do you think parents should treat their daughter like that who is close to being an adult?

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  • 6 months ago

    Thank you for reaching out for help when you are dealing with such a sensitive situation for a lot of parents. Being a parent in and of itself is stressful and messy, but things can get even more complicated when we look at difficult topics such as household rules.

    Every household and the rules associate with that household are unique to each family unit; what works for one family will very likely not work for another family because the people, attitudes, behaviors are all so different. With this variability in mind, it is most important for the parent to establish and follow rules that are appropriate for their home because they, as the parent, know their thome better than most anyone else.

    One thing to keep in mind with household rules is allowing your children to be successful. Even if a household rule is strict, it is important to be upfront about the standard of the rule; by being so upfront, the child or teen in question can be better prepared for achieving success in the home, which is important.

    If there is a concern, as the teen in question, that the household rules are too strict, there are different ways that you can address that concern. For example, examine what would be going on that would call for such standards in the rules? After examining the source, determine if there is a way to demonstrate that you are responsible enough to lift the standard of those rules (e.g., go above and beyond on household chores, getting a part-time job, etc.). You are also able to talk with the parents in question about ways that you can earn to have those rules alleviated, that way the people enforcing the rules can tell you up front what they need to see in order to lift some of the rules.

    Hopefully this answer gives you some support in continuing to be successful moving forward. Please let us know if there is anything more that we do to help you; we can be reached at the resources listed below.

    Alex - Crisis Counselor

    Source(s): Website: www.parenting.org Boys Town National Hotline (24/7, parents and teens): (800) 448-3000
  • 6 months ago

    Well within the range of normal parent behavior.

    At 16 your life is subsidized by your parents. It's a cliche' but paying the bills lets you make the rules. WiFi ISN'T a necessity...it didn't exist when I was your age.

    Two hours without access to a phone isn't a tragedy.

    And a 16 year old is a child...the ability to get a PART TIME job doesn't make you an adult.

  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    A child should be taught to be responsible by his own.

    • Bingo. If you still have to treat your kid like a child at 16 or 17, you’ve failed as a parent. A 16-17 year old is almost an ADULT and doesn’t need childish rules.

      But in this day and age, I guess parents love treating 16-17 year olds like little kids and expecting them to adjust on their 18th.

  • GEEGEE
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    Almost an adult but not quite. And likely still in school, right? They seem strict but I'm sure they do those restrictions so you will finish out your school years in good form.

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  • GB
    Lv 5
    6 months ago

    My parents did not monitor how much homework I did, either at 11 or 16. They trusted me to do it, knowing I would face consequences at school if I didn't. My dad once said I seemed to get less than a neighbour;s daughter . I told him that homework was often finishing something started in the classroom, which I usually managed . I would also spend my break at school, doing homework to have more free time after school.

  • 6 months ago

    Yes I think that is perfectly normal. I expect my daughter to do 2 hours studying per night too. If she gets bad grades her phone is confiscated and her friends and plans are out on hold until her grades have gone up. She will go to school come home have dinner and a shower do her studying and go to bed. Your parents are taking an interest in your education and so should you.

  • 6 months ago

    It is normal to give children rules. Adults are treated differently, but adults don't depend on their parents as you continue to do. When that changes, then you have a reasonable expectation to be treated differently. FYI anyone who is approaching adulthood is in fact still a child.

    • Linkus86, most teachers would agree that a 16-17 year old can’t make any of their own decisions regarding homework?

  • Anonymous
    6 months ago

    if she were my daughter i would slap her

  • 6 months ago

    This would be authoritarian parenting and and these parents are very demanding/persistent when it comes to rulings. I think it's unfair, I'm older than you but my dad does not give me any freedom. At least you can leave your house lol. But google authoritarian parenting to get a better understanding, I'm sure you'll see a lot of similarities in your parents behavior

    Source(s): Psychology major that just did a paper on parenting styles
    • Tri-Harder
      Lv 7
      6 months agoReport

      So then why do you let him set the rules? Your story doesn't remotely add up.

  • .
    Lv 7
    6 months ago

    sounds like good parents to me

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