Is it wrong to cheat or justified if my husband doesn’t want to be intimate with me anymore?

My husband and I are both in our early 30s, healthy, attractive, but our sex life is nonexistent. We’ve been together 2 years and married for only a few months. We have a one yr old and newborn. I always have to initiate sex and usually he finds an excuse or if he agrees it doesn’t feel like he really wants it. Even though I just had a baby my baby weight is melting off fast and I’m almost back to my normal size so I don’t think it could be my looks I don’t know really. I’m just confused why he never tries to have sex with me. I’ve talked and talked about it so much and told him how it makes me feel like something is wrong with me or him and he says he just has a low sex drive, but he wasn’t like this before we had our first son he always usually iniated and we had lots of sex. He just says things change that’s all. So now I don’t try anymore because I hate getting rejected or feeling like I’m forcing it. We haven’t had sex in 5 months. Im on the verge of cheating because I’m so sexually frustrated. I’ve told him this and he still does nothing. I feel like he’s trying to feel like he has power and thinks I won’t actually cheat but I’m already searching for a guy to hook up with. I’m tired of talking and getting nothing. Am I wrong or justified if I cheat on him?

32 Answers

  • 5 months ago

    He may have low testosterone. He’s relatively young but it can happen. As for you cheating. Think long and hard before you go down that road. Understand life as you currently know it will change forever because he will eventually find out. You’ll blow up your family and I don’t think you want to do that. Try also to get him into counseling.

  • 5 months ago

    He might honestly be gay... But I would justify it only if you found someone tat you love, not just a hook up, I would also divorce the guy b4 anything else

  • 5 months ago

    Perhaps there is a reason for his lack of sex drive.. You promised to love your husband and have no one else but him and now you are breaking your promise?

    Seriously, why did you marry him?

    Buy some toys and take care of yourself sexually

    Grow the hell up

  • 5 months ago

    Some men after the kids are born have a low sex drive. It sounds crazy but it's true. Not sure if it's because they don't want to get the woman pregnant again so subconsciously they disconnect a bit. I think your best bet is to tell him that in order to save the marriage is to go to couples therapy to work this out, otherwise neither one of you will end up being happy. Don't tell him anymore that if he doesn't have sex with you,you'll cheat on him. That makes matters worse. If he don't want to go with you, then go yourself so that you can come up with a rational plan. Don't do anything hastily because you may regret it.

  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • 5 months ago

    You're not "justified" to cheat.

    You're certainly justified to feel that he isn't living up to his responsibilities as your partner and husband. What you need to do is leave him, or kick him out. Tell him you want to separate, then divorce. Maybe that will get his attention. I'm sure that your life is difficult, with two babies to take care of, and he probably doesn't feel hot and bothered to have sex with you. You have a "newborn"...has it been long enough, post-partum, for you to have sex? Could he be worried that you're not fully healed yet?

    Bottom line...if telling him that you're sexually frustrated enough to consider cheating didn't motivate him to act, then it really is probably time to separate. And if that doesn't make him realize how much he wants and needs you, then nothing will...file for divorce.

    • alexander5 months agoReport

      I have never known a man to move out of his own house. thats absurd.

  • 5 months ago

    What is wrong is that you would get on Y!Assers and lie about something which most guys actually go through. If you are one of the rare, rare cases where the husband starts behaving like you say, then it turns out that you married a dumb sonofabitch, who just realized that babies come out of the same place he's been wanting to put his cock all these years. In that case, you're doomed, and you should find someone else, because this stupid sonofabitch needs to be alone. But, chances are you are lying, and there is no 'husband' who doesn't want action.

    • todd p5 months agoReport

      maybe he be haven ptsd,you knowd pos tramantic sex disinordaly

  • 5 months ago

    Cheating is always wrong

    • todd p5 months agoReport

      why you do it all the times and he knows he seen you

  • Kelly
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    Cheating is never justified, you have an excuse... not a reason.

    My husband and I have a healthy sex life but it's not the focal point of our relationship. If he got sick/hurt or some other issue where it became less and even non existent, I wouldn't leave him or cheat on him.

    He may have some health issues you're unaware of, he may have lost attraction for one reason or another, sex life may be routine and boring or... he's getting it elsewhere.

  • kristy
    Lv 6
    5 months ago

    Sounds like he is jacking off to much. Tell him he can jack off while he watches you with another guy

  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    Cheating is never justified. You've decided that sex is more important than this relationship. Let him know this. File for divorce and find someone who is more compatible.

Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.