Why does he ruin every holiday? Because he self medicates with alcohol which makes him have destructive and anti social behavior. This is who he is and this is the result of being in love with an alcoholic. Nothing will ever change until he seeks help and sticks to sobriety. You can give him every chance in the book and you will take it personally when he drinks and causes a scene. But, you must realize that his drinking has nothing to do with you as it is all about the demons he is fighting in his head.
You should leave the relationship because this is as good as it will get. You can tell him you are fed up to here with his drunken antics and have had enough. No need to go into detail about this, that, and the other instance when he got so drunk. That is not the issue, the issue is that he IS an alcoholic and as such, you are no longer going to subject yourself to suffer the consequences of his drunken lifestyle.
He needs help. He is drowning his unresolved emotions in alcohol. Right now is the best your life will be with him. And, that is pretty dismal, isn't it? You HAVE to leave him. You deserve a better life and maybe losing you will make him realize he has to stop drinking and get some help.
Otherwise, you are an enabler and allowing him to lead this lifestyle while giving him permission to ruin your quality of life. You are not the victim here, not unless you make yourself one.