Since happiness is a state of mind, then the source of happiness must lie within the mind and not in external circumstances.
Our emotions arise from the subconscious emotional patterns we have previously fed into it, so if we want to change those patterns, we need to start paying atttnion to what we tell ourselves.
If you think different, you can start to think correctly. And this produces happiness. And this puts you into the frame of mind that is necessary to make your life work for you.
It is really important what you say, what you think, how often you say it.
I recommend cognitive behavioral therapy to learn how to choose constructive self-statements.
And Mindfulness (Vipassana) meditation daily, so we learn how to self-monitor and see when we need to change what we are telling ourselves.
And Buddhism to explore our inner nature and find out why we make our own unhappiness so we can change those behaviors.
This takes time .. years even. Even decades, depending on how well you do work with yourself. But seeing as you will probably live for decades to come, it will in the long-run make a HUGE difference on your happiness if you start working on it now.
We tend to look for happiness OUTSIDE of ourselves, and this never works.
Wealth & fame amplifies whatever is underneath. If you are unhappy, it makes you more unhappy. If you are insecure, it makes you more insecure. This is why so many people start to abuse drugs and become addicted once they become rich.
If you are secure and at peace inside, wealth turns you into a philanthropist.
In a way, wealth and fame are like marriage. None of these will make you happy unless you are already happy. And if you are not happy, they make you even unhappier.
I once saw an interview on TV with an old Tibetan Buddhist monk, who had been thrown into jail when the Chinese invaded Tibet. Every day they took him out of his cell to try to beat names of other Buddhists out of him. Finally, friends who had escaped to the West were able to raise the money to buy his freedom, and they brought this monk to the West. In the interview, he was asked what he has found the hardest about his time in prison .. he said the hardest thing was keeping his love and compassion for his jailers.
Now .. you see … he didn’t focus on the negative, or get all caught up in self-pity. He addressed a constructive effort to be happy.
Because psychologists tell us that the more we focus on ourselves, the more neurotic and unhappy we will be. But the more we genuinely care about others, and practice kindness and generosity, the happier we become.
That old monk knew that, and even in the face of problems far greater than yours, he managed to be okay. He wasn’t “magic” ..he had just worked with his thought patterns long enough that he had learned how to work with them.
And you can too (with or without Buddhist . .cognitive psychology is just a modern form of Buddhism without the rituals or belief).
So, for starters, stop telling yourself "I HATE ....." because your subconscious is listening and everytime you say that, you make your unhappiness stronger.
No, you cannot say the opposite, "I LOVE ...." and expect it to sink in. Because it contradicts your subconscious believes, it will skip off like skipping a stone on the surface of a lake. That is why you have to look into cognitive behavioral psychology to learn what IS and what ISN'T an effective way to work with our negative responses.
Good luck. It's a great journey that will transform you .. eventually.
But if you don't then you will stay stuck where you are now.