It's great that you are reaching out for help. We are so sorry to hear that you are experiencing so much emotional pain. Know that you can feel better with support, by using healthy coping skills, and getting professional help if needed.
It's so important to reach out for support from to a trusted adult such as a parent, school counselor, teacher, coach, or minister. We would suggest using healthy coping skills (journaling, listening to music, etc.) and focusing on your self care (getting adequate sleep, eating nutritiously, exercising, etc.) If you're still not feeling better, talk to your doctor or a therapist. It may help you to talk to a hotline counselor. Know that you don't have to struggle alone, there is help out there for you.
Boys Town National Hotline 1-800-448-3000, www.yourlifeyourvoice.org