lila
Lv 7
lila asked in Family & RelationshipsWeddings · 1 year ago

My boyfriend is officiating his sister's wedding in August. Do you think he'll invite me?

I've only been to two weddings in my life so I'm not all that familiar with wedding etiquette, so please forgive me if this is a stupid (or obvious) question.

I just started dating a man I've been friends with for a couple years about 2 months ago. He's 29, I'm 27. His family lives in Maine and we live in New York. His sister is getting married (in Maine) in August and my boyfriend will be officiating the ceremony (he had to get a certificate to do this). He's also supposed to be a groomsmen but of course his main role will be marrying them!

I've never met his parents or family since we've just started dating and we live 6 hours south of them. I would love to meet his family and attend the wedding as his guest but I'm not even sure he has a plus one (not sure if his invite allows a plus one or if he wouldn't have one anyway since he is officiating the ceremony). He has not mentioned anything and I don't want to ask yet since it's not even June, and the ceremony is late August. Do you think he will invite me or would it be inappropriate or unrealistic given his roles in the wedding?

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  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 year ago
    Favourite answer

    The only one who can invite someone to a wedding is the hosts of it (whomever is paying for the event or the couple, which is sometimes both) so it's not his place to invite you as in receive your own invitation.

    If he's allowed a plus one/guest to bring, he's free to bring you if he chooses.

    You have a relatively new relationship so it's entirely possible he may choose to invite you to his family at another occasion.

    I was dating my husband about 6 months or so when I went to my first family wedding with him as a plus 1 and it was awkward at best. We lived in Michigan, where I'm from but the wedding was in Texas, where he is from. He was in the wedding was the awkward part so I was meeting his family for the first time for an extended period (several days) the rehearsal dinner wasn't bad because he was with me. The reception dinner since I didn't know them hardly at all seemed to last forever with his mom's questions. It felt like I was interviewing for a position I wasn't sure I wanted. It got better though, my in-laws are awesome.

    • lila
      Lv 7
      1 year agoReport

      Oh boy, that does sound awkward but I'm glad it worked out for you ultimately! Thanks for sharing your story and for answering.

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    If you just started dating it may be premature. On the other hand if you're still together round about the middle of July he might decide to ask you to come along.

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  • 1 year ago

    First and foremost, he cannot invite you unless he does get a "Plus One" invitation. So, it is not up to him if he gets a "Plus One", it is up to the bride and groom. Now, unless they know he is dating someone and in a serious relationship, they may not even think of sending a "Plus One" invitation. Again, this is not up to your boyfriend, but it is totally up to the bride and groom.

    Let's say he does get a "Plus One" wedding invitation. He may elect to bring you and get a hotel room for you both to stay during the wedding festivities. Remember, he is not your typical guest who shows up the hour of the wedding to be a guest. He is a big part of the wedding as he holds two important places: one being the efficient and the other being the best man.

    He may realize that his duties will occupy much of his time and that leaves you in the dust with perfect strangers most of the time. But, maybe not. Maybe he will insist you be on his arm to introduce you to everyone and make you part of the festivities along side him. Maybe he will feel like you will not have a good time due to the time he needs to spend on his wedding obligations. I don't know.

    Invitations are typically sent 6 weeks in advance of the wedding. If I were you, I would just wait until the invitation arrives because that is when you will know if you are included and if he will invite you as his guest.

    Some couples do not invite a "Plus One" for folks that have been dating such a short time. My brother is marrying off his daughter and said my adult children are invited and they can have a "plus one" ONLY if they are in a serious relationship and not just to have a "date" that day. Which is perfectly understandable, since he is paying over $200 a plate.

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  • GEEGEE
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    the bride and groom set the guest list. Ideally they'd invite him, with a plus one (you). He can certainly let them know he'd like you to be invited but the decision is ultimately theirs.

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  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    "Do you think he will invite me"

    The bride and groom determine the guest list. They may or may not allow him to invite a companion.

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  • Liz
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    Yep, random strangers on the internet can read your boyfriend s mind.

    • ...Show all comments
    • Liz
      Lv 7
      1 year agoReport

      I understand your asinine question just fine. You asked "do you think my boyfriend will..." So you're asking random people on a public forum what your boyfriend will or will not do. As if we all have crystal balls in our bedside tables. LOL Grow up, child.

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  • 1 year ago

    Your boyfriend doesn't invite anyone.

    His sister and her future spouse might invite you as his plus one; but as you've only been going out for 2 months, they also might not.

    At this stage, invites will probably have gone out. So if you haven't been asked yet - assume you won't be

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  • 1 year ago

    This will depend upon several factors,but it is improper for you to ask to go. Whomever is hosting (paying for) the wedding issues the invitations, including people attached to the main invitees. They may ask him if he wants to bring someone, or they may only invite him to keep costs down.

    As a short term relationship, yours doesn't warrant an automatic invitation for you, and it also may be too soon for him to introduce you to the family, especially in the context of a wedding. The only gracious thing you can do is to step back and say nothing, and think about whether it would be wise for you to go anyway. As a member of the wedding, he will be busy all the time, and you would be sitting with people you never met before. His first duty would be to his brother- and even if you had been together for quite a long time, it wouldn't necessarily be advisable for you to be going. It isn't a tour package - he will have some heavy obligations.

    Let him go by himself this time. If you are meant to be, there will be plenty of other opportunities.

    • lila
      Lv 7
      1 year agoReport

      Great points!! I agree with you and the others who have suggested this may not be the right place and time to meet the family. Thanks for taking the time to answer :)

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  • 1 year ago

    Ask HIM! Where he lives, etc. is neither here nor there.

    • Fireplace
      Lv 6
      1 year agoReport

      Almost all of the details provided are neither nor there -their ages, the certificate, etc.

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  • 1 year ago

    he rnight, you could tell hirn you want to go

    • Edna
      Lv 7
      1 year agoReport

      Her boyfriend can't invite anyone - he won't be there as an invited guest & he won't have a "plus one". He'll be there only to officiate at his sister's wedding.

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