it's not that love is necessarily shown through money, but it IS shown through ACTIONS. his actions towards his friends shows he loves them, look at what he is willing to spend and do for them. his actions towards you, not to sound harsh, shows he doesn't care.
personally, it sounds really extreme but i'd leave him if he did sh!t like that. actions ALWAYS speak louder than words. someone can tell you they love you every morning and night, but if they cheat on you then they really don't love you.
you are his spouse, and he doesn't think much about your birthday or what you want. it really speaks volumes on how he truly feels about you.