Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 year ago

Am I being too critical with my husbands drinking?

So, I will admit that I am a little closed minded when it comes to drinking. My grandfather was a drinker and used to drive drunk with my mother in the back seat when she was growing up, so she was always a stickler when it came to alcohol when I was growing up. My husband has never been a drinker since I met him because he knows I don’t really like it. He comes from a family of alcoholics and depression runs in his family as well. He does get depressed very easily. His stepfather is also an alcoholic and has been to rehab at least 3 times since I’ve known him. Lately, my husbands mother I guess has given up on her husbands recovery from alcoholism and is now drinking all the time and encourages my husband to drink. He told her that I don’t like him drinking but she still tells him to grab a beer anyways and he only seems to drink when encouraged. I have never seen my husband drunk however im worried that he is going to start drinking more and more if this encouragement continues and I don’t think it’s a good idea with his depression. Am I being too dramatic or judgmental about this? If not, how do I handle this situation without causing problems with my mother in law?

7 Answers

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    You talk to your husband...is how you avoid interacting with your mother-in-law on this one.

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  • 1 year ago

    A marriage will not work if any person in the marriage is an addict. An alcoholic is an addict with the decease of alcoholism. Alcoholism can never be cured, it can only be arrested. The alcoholic will need to make the choice to enter a program to arrest the decease, such as Alcoholics Anonymous. The alcoholic must never consume alcohol again for the rest of their life. Now ask yourself will you stay with your husband and help him recover from his alcoholism or leave him and move on with your life without him in your life. You do not answer to your mother-in-law because you aren't married to your mother-in-law. You answer for yourself and your relationship with your husband. That is part of the marriage vows you and your husband recited to each other. The part of the marriage vows which are considered in this case is the part "until death do us part". Will you be the wife who will help her husband until death do you part?

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  • 1 year ago

    I think maybe you should limit the time he spends around his parents they are a bad influence and anyone battling depression and especially if medicated should not drink alcohol.

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  • Ana
    Lv 6
    1 year ago

    Sometimes doing the right thing that God wants is more important than making friends with people.

    The Bible says “Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character" -1 Corinthians 15:33”

    Tell his mom and him both that encouraging him to drink is wrong, wrong, wrong and it’s harmfl to his entire life. She shouldn’t encourage it just bcuz she is lonely and wants someone to drink with

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  • 1 year ago

    How often is he grabbing that beer? Occasionally? No, it's not a good idea but it may not be something to worry about. Do you and your husband have a circle of friends that don't do a lot of drinking? Encourage him to spend time doing other things. Don't cut him off from his mother but try to limit her impact. Do you have a good relationship with her? Have you discussed your feelings? It seems to me she would respect caution, if her husband is an alcoholic.. Distract your husband as possible but don't make a big ado over a small situation as long as it is infrequent and he doesn't overdo it.

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  • 1 year ago

    Your issue has very little to do with your MIL and 100% to do with how you and your husband handle this issue between the two of you in your marriage. The rest of the world will live as they please as well. Make sure that they two of you are doing what the two of you want to do.

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  • i + i
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    Your mother-in-law is causing problems with you,

    but that is beside the point. It is ultimately your

    husband who needs to grow up and not let

    mama drag him into the mess that seems

    to be throughout his family. TALK to him.

    P.S. -- ONE beer does not make him an alcoholic.

    If he knows his limits and sticks to them, then

    there really shouldn't be any problem.

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