Do you ever wish you had certain childhood experiences?

I'm 26 and a female from suburban Connecticut. I survived an abusive bipolar father and managed to graduate college 3 years ago and get a drivers license. I function. I work. I was once an extremely quiet kid who just wanted the hitting to stop.

Now I'm an adult dealing with the aftermath of being raised by a crazy person. Self esteem issues, not feeling adult enough, among other things. People tell me I'm mature, but inside I feel stuck at age 12.

The childhood experiences I wish I had were normal outings with friends or even my family. My parents didn't have a lot of money so activities were limited. I also wasn't allowed to sleep over other kids houses. I couldn't really have kids over either. My Dad was crazy and it wasn't safe to bring people around.

I did have some beautiful kid moments. Some kids my age in my younger cousins neighborhood let me hang out with them when I came over.

I didn't date growing up. Something I was extremely ashamed of at the time. Every year I'd think I could change things, especially in high school, but when I was single again I just kind of accepted it. This sound awful, but I can talk about my Dad hitting me and be completely fine, but admitting I didn't date during those years is a constant shame I carry.

What childhood experiences do you wish you had?

4 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    I didn’t date in high school either. No shame in it

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  • Dr. D
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    Many people had childhood experiences that made them suffer. I grew up very poor. My father had some mental problems and wasn't capable of holding any job. He gave up on employment before he was 35. My mother was the strong one in the family, but she didn't work either. We lived on welfare. I was ashamed of my home, my parents, and my poverty. My mother would often remind me that she was hoping I would be a girl, and she was so disappointed when I was born. As a small child I believed that all parents preferred daughters. I would imagine that if I was a girl, then most of my problems would be gone. So I had a low self esteem. I was shy, quiet, and introverted.

    As I grew up I realized that many people faced problems in life. Our character is not determined by the absence of problems. Instead our character is determined by how we face and overcome our problems. I started volunteering to help others, and found that they thought I was the strong one. They thought I had my life all together. At the same time, I found my self esteem growing. I found I was intelligent and disciplined. In the end I discovered that all humans are fragile and yet capable of doing great things.

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  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    I'm so sorry to hear that. You know, I think you're such a strong and brave person for dealing with that. Don't be ashamed that you haven't dated anyone yet though, put yourself out there and join some stuff! I know you're an adult and it might be harder to find someone, but like I said join some stuff. A cooking class or dating sites, anything is possible if you make a move (If you haven't already). For me personally, I wish I could've joined more activities growing up. I had a good relationship with my family, despite my parents always arguing. I wish I joined a sport growing up. I'm very introverted and my social skills suck. I was always shy and nervous in new environments and I always stayed in my comfort zone. But I'm currently 14 and I'm ready to put myself out there more!

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  • 1 year ago

    No, I'm an adult. I know you can't change the past so wishing you could won't change anything. BTW - everybody you know will die.

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