Do you sometimes feel like real life was a dream, like it wasn't real?
I've been behaving more and more recklessly and it still doesn't seem to make me feel anything.
This year I've almost died a couple times even and it doesn't even seem to bother me. My cousin killed himself and my grandmother died and I to this day couldn't even shed a tear.
In traffic I ride my bike way faster than the speed limit, I constantly have close calls. I've been to the ER 4 times this year. I'm not doing it intentionally, it's not like I'm planning to behave this way, but no matter what the situation I still remain extremely calm and rational and everything seems to be boring and uninteresting. I crave thrill.
Even at work, when something unexpected happens people usually panic or run away, I'm always the one who handles things calmly.
It's not like I'm suicidal or something, I'm quite alright, but even so if someone would rush into my room at this very moment and threatened to kill me, I'd taunt him to see if he'd dare to do so, instead of doing what that person would say...
What's happening? is this normal?