Is there hope for this relationship?

My boyfriend and I have been together for about four months. He pressured me into moving in with him after 8 weeks. At first, I told him it was too soon but then I gave in and moved in with him because he kept pressuring me. Since then, we've had a lot of problems. I pay him rent, I buy groceries...I cook, he drives my car. I do everything for him that he complains his exes never did. He picks fights with me almost every day over petty things. Then we argue and he tries to manipulate me and blame me for everything. I called out of work last week because I was too upset to go to work after arguing with him. I am seeing so many red flags with him...he's an alcoholic and he's in massive debt. He lies to me about everything and if I confront him, we get into terrible fights and he never takes responsibility for anything he does. I really can't talk to him about anything because he's super sensitive and he acts like a child. We never go out on dates anymore...I feel like I'm living a nightmare and I have nowhere else to go. We fought yesterday because he suggested that I put his Disney pass on my credit card, because he can't afford it, then he blew up on me. He said, "I'm not feeling good about our relationship. I'll leave it up to you if you want to end it". Then I said that I would leave if he wanted me to and he said, "I don't want you to leave. I just don't know how to fix this". I am so stressed out and unsure of what to do, or if this can be fixed.

61 Answers

  • 2 years ago

    He's definitely trying to make you feel bad so you give him what he wants. No offense but you kind of messed up when you moved in with him bc you only did it bc he kept pressuring you. And that showed him from there that he can get what he wants from you if he pushes enough. So if I were you I would seriously consider staying in a hotel away from him and call up someone in your family and see if they will let u stay with them until you get out of this bind you're in. Definitely leave he sounds like a loser and he's totally trying to use you. Also I bet his ex's aren't that bad. Next time he gets with a girl he will probably tell her the same lies about you.

  • 2 years ago


  • 2 years ago

    What he's doing is classic control tactics to get you to do what he wants. Im not sure what your living arrangement was prior to you moving in with him but you need to make arrangements and move out before things get worse.. And they will!

  • Orla C
    Lv 7
    2 years ago

    You need to get out of there, now. Where is your family? Call them, get help. Or your friends? Don't stay there, don't try to fix it.

    His illness is HIS problem. All he wants for you to do is enable him, there's no love. Nothing to build on, and if you stay, you'll regret it so much. Take your things and go.

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  • Cosmic
    Lv 6
    2 years ago

    Someone please tell me why women continue to date these idiots.

  • 2 years ago

    You must admit that you made an upfront mistake by going ahead of living with a guy after dating him for just 8 Sundays. So, you now realize that you moved too quickly before getting to know him. Now that you know him, you do not like your life with him. This is something you could have easily figured out if you gave the relationship some time and saw the red flags the first 8 weeks of your romance.

    He is a manipulating alcoholic. He was five months ago and he will be five months from now.

    When he is at work, pack up your stuff and just leave. Really. There is no other way to get out of this one because he has all the signs of being abusive and trust me, he will not let you go peacefully.

    Forgive yourself for making a mistake. Forgive yourself for acting in haste. Forgive yourself for letting yourself down and not following your instincts. It is time to end this ridiculous relationship and just get out while you still can. Nothing good is going to become of this and you know it.

    No, there is no hope for a girl who prematurely moves in with a guy who, as you say:

    *Was pressured into moving in with him

    *Who uses your money for rent

    *Who uses you to buy groceries

    *Who drives your car

    *Who you do all the cooking for

    *Who you do all the cleaning

    *Who picks fights every day over petty things

    *Who manipulates you

    *Who blames you for everything

    *Who upsets you to the point of missing work

    *Who is an alcoholic

    *Who is in massive debt

    *Who acts like a child

    *Who makes you feel you are in a living nightmare

    *Who wants to use your credit card for DISNEY

    NOW< please read the above while pretending someone told you four months ago that this would be your life with your boyfriend. Would you have signed up to be this guy's girlfriend back then? Of course not. So, why the hell should you be his girlfriend right now? If you stay with him, you are a complete and total fool who deserves this living nightmare. And, do not tell me you have no where to go. You must have friends, perhaps siblings and parents, aunts and uncles or grandparents, yes??? YOU NEED HELP. Get the flock out of there!!

  • 2 years ago

    This man is using you, I don t know if he still has feelings for you or if he ever did, but I m sure you need to leave him immediately. If not he will get you pregnant and force you to stay with him. You deserve something better!

  • 2 years ago

    don't sound like it,i would move out

  • 2 years ago

    No hope, and you should get your stuff and run, quickly.

  • Anonymous
    2 years ago

    He's an alcoholic in debt. Get out now,. It's never gonna work, you chose a dud.

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