Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 year ago

Should I leave my boyfriend because months ago he undressed me when I was asleep and sick?

Months ago I posted a question in which I described the whole situation and most of the answers justified his behaviour claiming that he did the right thing. I had high fever (39°), and he was sleeping at my house for the first time because my parents were abroad. I was alone at home and had fever. The first day that I was sick he stood by me, gave me medicines and cooked for me. The second day the temperature raised and I really really sick, and I woke up in the middle of the night shivering, naked (without the upper part of the pj, the undershirt and bra) and when I asked him why, almost crying, he said: because you were sick and your clothes were wet and I had to. He gave me dry clothes and something to lower the temperature. He turned off the light and I felt so ashamed and angry at him and at myself because he had seen me naked. He had never seen me naked before, it was humiliating. I'm also hurting because I think that I'm mean for thinking bad about him, because he did it for good, but I don't know, it's like he isn't the perfect guy I had always thought of, I was really in love with him, but I dare you to find yourself suddenly naked and not to be angry or resent him. I always thought he was perfect but after all these months I still have nightmares about that night.

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  • 1 year ago

    Ridiculous, he was being nurturing if he is your boyfriend and you guys are serious with one another wouldn't he have seen u naked eventually? I don't think he did anything wrong. I think that you need to just come to terms with it.

  • 1 year ago

    You said "he isn't the perfect guy" and then said "he was the perfect guy" in the same sentence?

    Make up your mind?

  • 1 year ago

    OK, let's look at the facts and then I have some questions. You asked him to stay with you while your parents were out of the country. Obviously you cared about him and trusted him because it seems you didn't do this just to sleep with him as you say he had never seen you naked. You were very sick and he did everything you needed done to take care of you. He gave you meds and cooked for you. The second day, you were worse and you are upset he undressed you. From what you have said he didn't do anything to molest you in any way. YOU put him in the position of taking care of you. IF you were in a hospital and a nurse had done the same thing, would you be this upset? He sounds like a good guy. How old are y'all? How long have you been dating? You claim you were in love with him and it's now months later and you are still with him but this still bothers you. Has he seen you naked since? If you have been together this long and he hasn't seen you naked other than the time he undressed you and he is still with you, doesn't that tell you something? Sounds like you were planning to be with him long term. Would he have seen you naked eventually? If he had undressed you and molested you in some way, I could see the loss of trust. I feel something else is going on here. Are you ashamed of your body in some way? Have you been molested in the past? To be honest, I don't see what he did that was so wrong. He obviously cared enough to take care of you. Are you sure there isn't something else that you are taking out on him? Bottom line, if you can't get over it, the relationship won't last. But if the real issue is something that has nothing to do with him, how is blaming him or taking your issues out on him gonna help anything? I don't see where this was a big deal, but I'm older. I've taken care of girlfriends and a wife to the degree of having to help them on/off the toilet and wiping front and back for them because they couldn't do it because of illness or surgery. I did it because they needed me and because I loved them. If they had been sick with a fever and I saw they were uncomfortable, I'd have done the same thing he did. It shows me he was paying attention to you and taking care of your needs without having to be asked for everything. Most women would love for a guy to do that for them. Especially one they claimed to be in love with. I think you need to talk to someone about the real issue and be honest with him. If there is no other issue, and you can't get over it then be honest with him about that too. But the truth will be he did nothing wrong, it's you.

  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    You sound highly strung and your boyfriend should find someone who appreciates him.... you give women a bad name

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  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    I really hope ur bf finds someone who really deserves him

  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    Sounds like you want something neurotic to rag on. The real question is why you two are not sleeping together after all this time? What you probably resent is this incident stands as the high water mark and yet it was not romantic. He may not be ideal but you can make him your boyfriend now or not, once and for eternity.

    And also, he didn't see you naked.

    • Jas1 year agoReport

      Everything is not about sex!

  • Alan H
    Lv 7
    1 year ago

    You invited him to sleep at your house when your parents wer pe away.

    You neglected to seek medical help when you had a fever.

    And then you claim to be ashamed that he saw you naked.

    What did to expect he would do? Give you a bed bath whilst still clothed?

    Frankly, the mind boggles.

  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    Aren't you being over melodramatic?

    Maybe he should have left you all alone to drool, whine, and throw up on your own?

    Would you rather he had forced you to WAKE UP, to be asked "fancy lying in that gunk, or changing?" That would have made you feel better? How do know, you weren't incapable, incapacitated?

    You obviously weren't lucid enough to note or feel, when your clothing was being removed. No one sleeps that soundly!

    Since you were sick and asleep, maybe the best thing would have been for him TO depart! Your dignity would have stayed intact.

    How would you have fared?

    And subsequently you would have been impressed by such selfish heartless behavior?

    So you imagine when he removed your SMELLY, SOILED clothing he was thinking carnal thoughts, Seriously?

    Maybe you are looking for excuses to get out of a relationship where you have not been an impeccable siren!

    • Amanda1 year agoReport

      I know right ? All these people here are idiots and freaking out

  • 1 year ago

    Yes, he deserves someone better. I hope the next guy leaves you laying fully clothed in your wet, disgusting pj, while your brain is frying... You very much deserve that kind of treatment.

  • 1 year ago

    Hi girl! I’m sorry people are being so rude. I think you should probably leave him. He had no right to undress you without waking you up and asking you. I don’t know you’re age, but especially if you are young.

    • jasmine1 year agoReport

      Without waking her? Have you ever had a fever before? It caused you to go into deep sleeps. He most likely DID try to wake her but she was knocked out. PLUS, my best friend is a guy and he’s done the same for me when I once puked on myself. I didn’t get mad.

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