AAreSSa asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 2 years ago

2 year mark of my brothers death coming soon and I'm STILL devastated?

My brother died when I was 28 at the age of 34. Now it's almost 2 years later and I'm still sad. I have gone through the grieving process so I dont know why I'm still so sad. Shouldn't I be over this already? What the hell is wrong with me? I shouldnt be so sad still. He was my only sibling and my best friend.

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  • 2 years ago

    I'm so sorry that you brother died. My heart goes out to you.

    I suggest you go to meetings of Griefshare. https://www.griefshare.org/findagroup. There are groups throughout the U. S. and Canada. I'm sure you can find a group close to your house. All the people in the group have lost a loved one. They can help you navigate the 5 stages of guilt.

  • 2 years ago

    that happens , all you can do is ask god to help you cope with it, i havent lost siblings yet but ive lost parents

  • Helen
    Lv 7
    2 years ago

    Grief has no expiration date.

  • 2 years ago

    Sorry to read of your loss. There is nothing wrong with you. Anniversaries will always be painful times.

    All I can suggest is that you focus upon the happy memories which defined your time with him, try to visualise him helping you with every day tasks in a sense of 'how might he have dealt with them', and let him go free in the sense that those happy memories are always going to be with you.

    If you need a simple reaffirmative letting-go ceremony, consider writing down on a piece of paper all the things you loved about your brother. Bury it under a new plant that you can put in your garden. Let it go down the river, cast it to the 4 winds... anything like that. The tears you get then will be healing tears.... that is what they are really for.

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  • 2 years ago

    That's ok, you were probably close to your brother. While you can still be sad about it and shocked, you shouldn't let it control your life.

  • Anonymous
    2 years ago

    I'm sorry to hear that this happened to you. Hey, it isn’t easy to forget the ones so close to you. I lost a pet 3 years back and still grieve. I don’t know how you feel, but I wish I had the right words to say. Cry out your feeling but don’t let them take over you. You are strong and your brother definitely won’t be happy to see you this way. Life’s tough, hun, but so are you!

  • Anonymous
    2 years ago

    No, two years is nothing when you've lost someone very close to you. There are no time limits on the grief process, so just be gentle on yourself and when you feel sad, feel sad. Maybe, if this interests you, plant something in your garden (or a pot) that reminds you of your brother. Maybe he loved yellow roses, or maybe something in deep red, you'll know in your heart what suits best. Look after it and remember him. He lives on in your heart.

  • Anonymous
    2 years ago

    There is nothing wrong with you. What you are dealing with is normal and I hate to tell you this but the heart never forgets. I lost my best friend and sister-in-law in a car accident in 1985. I still think of her almost daily. The saddness doesn't go away, it simply becomes a part of who you are. You loved deeply and when we lose someone so dearly loved, our grief is even stronger.

    Please get some grief counseling. What you have gone through is terrible and not a lot of 28 y.o.'s have had to deal with such pain.

  • Anonymous
    2 years ago

    "He was my only sibling and my best friend."

    I think it's cool you still take the time out to mourn him and remember his anniversary. --Just don't get trapped in the past.

    My bioligical father died 29 years ago this October 15th. I honored his anniversary every year. Then my step dad who raised me died a year ago.

    I spent too much time honoring the past, that I forgot to appreciate my present. Now my present is also past.

  • reza
    Lv 6
    2 years ago

    Grieving doesn’t just last ‘2 years’. My grandmother died shortly after I was born; my mom still misses her and I’m 26yrs old. You never stop being sad over the death of someone you loved

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