Like they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I'm curious about what was said to him when you let him in. Did you write this out as a contract with a final deadline date or was this just a friendly chat? I have a horrible feeling it was more like the latter!. Also, is there any stipulation about jobs and contributing to family income? Finally, whose family "side" does he come from?
I ask because what happens next is mainly the responsibility of the spouse whose relative he is. The biggest risk here is to your marriage, so if this is your relative, your wife is going to start resenting you for this mess. If it's her, you'll start resenting. So one of you owes it to the other to come down much harder on this nephew, including kicking him out.
People are telling you to kick him out, but it's not as easy as it sounds. If he refuses to go, in most states this involves a court hearing (this all started as a way to protect tenants rights).
You have 2 choices. If you want to give him one last chance, you've got to step up your game. Write up a contract with specific dates, like he needs to be employed w/in 5 days. He needs to give X percent of his income to you. He's to help with chores around the house, including his laundry. Get him to agree and sign this.
If he gives you lip, or you're at the point where you're past this, then try kicking him out. If he refuses to leave, then you have to make it much more difficult for him to live there. This will be unpleasant for both of you, but you're out of options. Find a way to not give him access to your food, even if it means putting a lock on the refrig. Obviously, stop cooking for him. Dinner is for the 2 of you, and if he gets obnoxious or tries taking it anyway, call the cops. He's stealing from you.
If he has a key to your place, try to snag it where he keeps it (it's not stealing, because it's your property). If this doesn't work, change the locks and don't give him a new key. Tell him you'll let him back in until 8 pm and after that you won't. If he stands at the front door yelling, call the cops.
I know all this sounds extreme, but don't forget, he thinks of you and your wife as easy marks and he's taking advantage of you. You can "love" him as a relative but hate him as a person, and this is where you need to be.
· 3 months ago