I admitted something I didn't do, so I wouldn't lose my fiance. I took it back, now he obviously doesn't believe me + POLYGRAPH TEST?!?

3 months into the relationship my boyfriend had me do a polygraph test asking if I had cheated on him for those 3 months, he got cheated on before and has trust issues. I got pissed at first but I thought I have nothing to hide so I'll do it. Joke is on me because I failed the test. But I never had sexual... show more 3 months into the relationship my boyfriend had me do a polygraph test asking if I had cheated on him for those 3 months, he got cheated on before and has trust issues. I got pissed at first but I thought I have nothing to hide so I'll do it. Joke is on me because I failed the test. But I never had sexual contact with anyone other than my boyfriend since we started our relationship and I didn't lie during the test. I was tied to a chair for over 2.5 hours, where I couldn't move, shallow or take my eyes out of the spot I had pick in the beginning of the test, I was honestly freaking out, with stress, worry and having a million of thoughts going through my mind.
After failing the test my boyfriend didn't believe me at first and I showed him thousands of reports and researches proving that psychopaths can pass the test even when they lie and people telling the truth fail.
We fought, broke up but after a while he told me he believed me and that test was not accurate most of the time.

Now 8 months later and two weeks after he propose to me and me saying yes. He told me he wouldn't marry me until I admitted that I cheated on him and that the polygraph was right. So basically he never believed me and was in a relationship with me without trusting that I never cheated. I said I never sexually cheated on him and he said he wanted another polygraph test.
Update: Obviously I refused because I hadn't done anything before and I failed so I would fail again, he sees that as me not wanting to get caught and it's not about that I'm saying the truth and it's really frustrated not having a way to prove since I failed the first polygraph. So he broke off the... show more Obviously I refused because I hadn't done anything before and I failed so I would fail again, he sees that as me not wanting to get caught and it's not about that I'm saying the truth and it's really frustrated not having a way to prove since I failed the first polygraph. So he broke off the engagement and said he never wanted to see me again.
Update 2: I freaked out and made a really stupid decision, he said that if I admitted he would forgive me no more lying detector tests and we would start fresh. I made up a story and I said I had cheated in order not to lose him. He kept pushing me for more and saying that he knew there was more times and at that point I had... show more I freaked out and made a really stupid decision, he said that if I admitted he would forgive me no more lying detector tests and we would start fresh. I made up a story and I said I had cheated in order not to lose him. He kept pushing me for more and saying that he knew there was more times and at that point I had already made up the first one so I kept going until he was happy, he basically direct me into what he wanted to hear and I just followed.
Update 3: I know what I did was really stupid, but I love him so much and I didn't want to lose him so I lied. He forgave me, said that we were fine and we would get married. I got home and couldn't sleep, I was feeling so disgusted with myself for making up those stories in order to not lose my fiancé and to... show more I know what I did was really stupid, but I love him so much and I didn't want to lose him so I lied. He forgave me, said that we were fine and we would get married. I got home and couldn't sleep, I was feeling so disgusted with myself for making up those stories in order to not lose my fiancé and to validate his gut feeling, yes that's all he has a failed polygraph test where I was saying the truth and his gut feeling that I cheated no actually proof.
Update 4: I texted him and said that I had lied and that I never cheated on him, he obviously didn't believe me and call me crazy, bipolar, etc ... Its so frustrating that I always said the truth throughout our relationship and I was faithful, but he doesn't believe me. I have way more to lose here than him,... show more I texted him and said that I had lied and that I never cheated on him, he obviously didn't believe me and call me crazy, bipolar, etc ...

Its so frustrating that I always said the truth throughout our relationship and I was faithful, but he doesn't believe me.
I have way more to lose here than him, I'm an aupair and my year is ending in March if we don't stay together, I will have to leave US.
Update 5: I have all the reasons to say whatever I have to stay with him, but I couldn't. I rather lose it all but at least be with a clean conscience and know that I didn't start my marriage based on a lie. Why can't he see that? That I have no reason to keep insisting that I didn't cheat other than that... show more I have all the reasons to say whatever I have to stay with him, but I couldn't. I rather lose it all but at least be with a clean conscience and know that I didn't start my marriage based on a lie. Why can't he see that? That I have no reason to keep insisting that I didn't cheat other than that being the truth. If I kept lying I would be with him, get married and live happy ever after. Like this I lose everything.

There is no hope for this relationship right?
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