Why was i happier when i was starving myself.?
So i was 13 and and had problems with eating. By the age of 14 i had a mild eating disorder (i say mild because i didnt need to be hospitalised or go to any centers etc) i lost a lot of weight very quickly, about 2 stone in 3 months. I only got through it because i saw how upset my mum was and although our relationship was not great i couldnt not eat when she was sat there litrally begging me too.
Im now 16 and am realising how happy i was when i was starving myself. I know it sounds wierd but i miss it and i kind of wish i was still doing it. I watch documentarys of anorexics and want to be them. i dont think im anorexic because many anas say they have voices in their head and are being told not to eat but i dont have them. Theyve gone (forever i hope)
I know a lot of people will judge me for this but these are the things im feeling on a daily basis and ive been struggling with for a while. I need some advice on weather my thoughts are rational and what i can do. I know i was in a bad place a few years ago but i was happy, a lot happier than i am now. I just dont know what to do
- LiliLv 74 years agoFavourite answer
Anorexia affects people in different ways. The fact that you don't hear voices in your head doesn't mean you aren't anorexic, aren't still disordered in terms of your attitude towards weight and eating.
I'd say you definitely are. In fact, people who've had such a disorder are often like alcoholics -- they don't ever cease to have the problem. They are in recovery, but that recovery requires constant attention and management. It doesn't necessary disappear altogether and could come back with the right trigger.
That's where you are, and where you may be for the rest of your life. You really need therapy, preferably with a specialist in eating disorders, to help you come up with better ways to manage this problem.
- 4 years ago
Nah its not weird. From this it sounds a bit like there are still voices in your head telling you that you were happier and trying to get you to do it again.
You sound like you are leaning towards anorexia. If you are unhappy with your weight, maybe go on a safe diet. It's totally normal, im kinda in the same place as well... Xx
- DeAnneLv 74 years ago
Anorexics feel this one way they can control their life. If you didn't go to an eating disorder clinic, do so now. This could affect your whole life and your future.