I want to leave my wife but the kids....?

I no longer want to be married to this woman anymore. I try my hardest to give her the best life ever both intimately, sexual, and financially. Always providing always supporting always loving. But it seems no matter what I do she is never happy. She seems to always find something to complain about just to argue and I have gotten pretty fed up. In some cases she will over think the smallest of things and basically invent something to complain about. It has been almost 9 years now. What holds me in and keeps me sane are my children. I don't want them growing up with separated homes like I did. I really don't know what I would do if I couldn't see them every day. Then again.. My wife is a good mom. We may not be a good couple but we are good parents. I guess there is no way of the kids having the both of us all the time like I would want and not be together anymore. Sometimes I think the joy my children bring me outweigh the misery my wife brings. I feel trapped and don't know what to do. I keep telling myself I am willing to put up with her for the sake of my kids. A sacrifice I am willing to make

7 Answers

  • 6 years ago

    If you told her, would she try to fix the problem? I am a woman in a marriage for almost 9yrs. as well. I can tell you my husband has bound to have felt the same in some point in our marriage. If he told me what you wrote, I would have to sit with it for a while and decide if the marriage is worth saving, or if its time to call it quits. Tell her, if she is willing, and you still have even a tiny ounce of fight left in you, then I suggest you do what you have to do to fix your marriage. If you don't tell her, you will never know if things could have gotten better. Also being a woman, I can honestly tell you that when something is going on within me, it comes out in frustration and complaints. I can guarantee you there is something deeper going on with her and she has no knowledge of how to get it out so this is how it manifests. Talk to a therapist together. 8 1/2 yrs is a lot to just throw away, but if you still want to chunk it, then the kids will be just fine, I grew up with separated parents and so far I haven't gone on a psycho rampage :) but I will keep you posted if things change.

  • Anonymous
    6 years ago

    You can try to speak to your wife over anything else that may be going on in her life that you might not know about that is causing her to get upset easily. If she doesn't choose to do that, tell her what you told us. If you feel it could be necessary, look for a marriage counseling.

    Personally I have grown up in a house with arguing parents who are only together because they won't separate for me and my siblings. Honestly I would rather them be separated because they are unhappy with each other...

    Anyway, try your best to keep the arguing away from your children. I hope you can work this out for the best of everyone. Good luck (:

  • katha
    Lv 4
    6 years ago

    Never stay for the sake of your children. Children are eerily perceptive and probably know more then you give them credit for. How can immersing your children with two parents who have no love for each other benefit them? When you were a kid yeah it sucked that you grew up in separate houses but when you look back do you really think them being together for your sake would have made a happier childhood? You know your parents divorced for a reason. There is a reason you do not love her, and your kids are not the reason to stay married to someone that does not make you happy whom you do not love anymore. I grew up with divorced parents too and I was glad when they finally separated because they stayed together way longer then they should have for ' our' sake but it did not benefit us cause we could see that they did not belong together and that they brought out the worst in each other. You can still be a good father and give your kids a happy home and life and not be married to someone who makes you miserable and having your kids see that. Your wife does not sound happy with you either and is probably staying together for the same reasons as well. Seriously though being mutually miserable is not benefiting your children in any way.

  • 6 years ago

    This is really something only you yourself can decide. Have you told her how you feel, she maybe doesn't realise how depressing she is making your relationship. Try marriage counselling, try spending time together without the kids. If you love her, it's worth trying everything you can possibly imagine. And as for the kids sometimes it's better having two separate parents who don't live together but love them to the moon and back.

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  • 6 years ago

    I think you should just seek marriage counseling. None of things you mentioned are worth a divorce unless there is cheating going on, but you didn't say anything that would be grounds for divorce. I say you should stick it out.

  • Anonymous
    6 years ago

    Every woman I have know , friends , relatives , GFs , my wife ,,,, all of them love to complain .

    Even if you dump her and get a new one ,,, she will complain too .

    Source(s): Fortunately for me , my wife mostly complains about other people more than about me .
  • 6 years ago

    You need strategy.

    1. Do daily exercise to make you relax and stronger for sex. Then you willhave bright minded.

    2. Give her expensive gift on her memorial days. Then she will be happy snd love you.

    3. Give her long foreplay and longer intercourse more than 20 minutes . Then shr will get great orgasm and will love you with hart.

    Then she will forget blamming bc her mind is filled with happy.

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