my boyfriend raped me, and i dont know how to deal with it?

Just for background, when I was 15 I was at a party where a guy took advantage of me (I was a virgin).

Later I met Billy (my bf), who I confided in about that experience. Before we started dating he had a 'friends with benefits', so I was cautious of his intentions at the beginning. He adored me and insisted that he wasnt interested in me purely for sex. A few weeks after we started going out he asked me to stay over his house, I told him I would but not if he intended us to have sex because I was ready for that. I made it very clear with him what I was comfortable with. So when I came over, we were kissing and he asked me to take off my clothes, I said I didnt want to because I didnt want to encourage us to have sex, so he insured me that we wouldnt. We watched a film in bed, and then he got on top of me and penetrated me, I tried pushing him off and I told him to stop, but hes really buff and wouldnt budge and he completely tuned me out and was ignoring me.

After I managed to push him off I left, but he apologised a lot and explained that he thought I wanted to. Anyway I knew he loved me too much to intentionally hurt me so we stayed together for 9 months (stupid I know)before we broke up.

The rape happened a year ago now, but I never dealt with it, nor did I tell anyone. For the past weeks I think about it and cry, i feel like i cant breathe, I dont know if im being silly because it was a year ago now, i just dont know what to do or how to deal with it so i can move on?

5 Answers

Relevance
  • 6 years ago
    Favourite answer

    Heyyy this is pretty tricky but I can see your dilemma... Im 17 but my older sis went through something similar and is not that its incredibly affecting you its just that you have to let it out. Find someone who I'd willing to listen and you trust. You don't have to completely trust them but just anyone who you can talk to.

    Anyway yo if you need any help you catch me, strident65@hotmail.com

    Source(s): Experience
    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • ?
    Lv 7
    6 years ago

    Deal with it by telling your family and reporting it to the Police

    You can also get support from the many rape crisis charities

    Source(s): uk
    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • 6 years ago

    I think you have PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) from the rape.......

    Might wanna seek treatment for that.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • Anonymous
    6 years ago

    Tell your family and they can help you and if your scared then tell them not to telll the police x

    Stay Strong babe x

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • Anonymous
    6 years ago

    strictly spesking he did not rape you. You led him on. You wanted it.

    Source(s): www.billclinton.com
    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.