How can I start trusting people again..?

Ok I've got a rather serious problem. From the very first day I started school, I had been brutally picked on (Not physically, emotionally). This continued to get worse, reaching suicidal levels in grade 2. My very first friends in school the next year were the ones bullying me. I had a lot of problems with... show more Ok I've got a rather serious problem. From the very first day I started school, I had been brutally picked on (Not physically, emotionally). This continued to get worse, reaching suicidal levels in grade 2. My very first friends in school the next year were the ones bullying me. I had a lot of problems with spelling, grammar and writing (To this day, writing is one of my weakest points though grammar and spelling have improved cause video games~) as well as being overweight and having few friends caused my self-esteem to be pretty low, making the bullying far worse.

Things kept sucking a lot, my best and closest friend from the first day of school turned out to have only become my friend out of a dare, other friends i made all seemed to pity me or abandon me. Eventually i got online and made a lot of new friends, a lot of which badly hurt me.

One day I finally got a girlfriend, it was online though. We were extremely close, she cheated on me 7 times using how much she loved me and how she would kill herself if i left her as a excuse to get me to stay before finally dumping me for someone who molested her.

I have a new gf now and she's cheated on before, but i'd forgiven her since i had been extremely distant from my fear of relations. but i'm tired of struggling to trust anyone, my friends and my gf. Worrying they are using me, that i'm being lied to, that they secretly make fun of me. I know it's stupid and i try to convince myself of it but the fear is so strong it always wins.. What do I do? HOw can I start gettng myself to open up and trust others again?
Update: -Quick thing, I am a girl, just noticed everyone seems to think i'm a guy. Both me and my gf are bi. -Idk, I ask her what she likes about me but she just says she doesn't know, jsut that she loves me. maybe she finds an attraction to damaged goods, or maybe because even if i have pitiful self-esteem i'm... show more -Quick thing, I am a girl, just noticed everyone seems to think i'm a guy. Both me and my gf are bi.
-Idk, I ask her what she likes about me but she just says she doesn't know, jsut that she loves me. maybe she finds an attraction to damaged goods, or maybe because even if i have pitiful self-esteem i'm still an extremely friendly person who always tries to make others smile
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