Either that, or possibly PTSD*. Go to: http://www.rapevictimadvocates.org/ & http://www.rape-victim-support.com/ & http://www.pandys.org/ & http://www.rainn.org/ & http://www.aftersilence.org & http://www.rapehelp.com/ & http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk Call (USA)1 800 656 HOPE and/or People Against Rape (USA) on 1 800 877 7252. Go to the police and report it, so that an entry will be made in their computer database, and anyone else making such a claim in future will be believed. Otherwise, he may think he can continue to get away with it, and in many cases, even worse! It may help to take a close friend, or relative along. Doing what you reasonably can about it can be an important first step in the recovery process. Some find further therapy helpful, later on. Be aware of the possibility of developing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder*, as well. Flashbacks, nightmares, difficulty sleeping, and just staring blankly for long periods of time are some symptoms.
For more PTSD info, treatments, and links, see http://your-mental-health.8m.com/blank_15.html Read: "After Silence: Rape & My Journey Back" by Nancy Venable Raine, & "Telling: A Memoir of Rape and Recovery" by Patricia Weaver Francisco, & "Quest for Respect: A Healing Guide for Survivors of Rape" by Linda Braswell, & "Don't Move" ~ Penélope Cruz, Sergio Castellitto, Claudia Gerini, and Natalia Barcelò, & "Rape" by Marcus van Heller, from your bookstore, or Amazon.com. Consider taking a course in SELF DEFENCE (not martial arts; their styles are often inappropriate to circumstances likely to be encountered, but possibly take their course later). Try to be aware of what is going on around you, assessing potential risks and minimising them, without going overboard. For example; cross the road well beforehand, once you see someone coming towards you at night in an isolated location; see what happens. This prevents you from being surprised, and overwhelmed before being able to take any effective action, such as activating a personal alarm, using a "rape whistle", using your automatic emergency in your cell/mobile phone, or preparing to defend yourself with such weapons as you are carrying. Don't look like an easy target; criminal types look for them to victimise.
Others said: just keep in mind that it is not your fault, there are just ****** up people out there. That is the only thing that can get you through. Just know that you are beautiful and you did not deserve it but to be strong and get past it, do not dwell on it. Just let it go and forgive the person, as hard as it is. That is the best advise I have. ~~~ Did you go to the police? They'll usually tell you a therapist or counselor to go to. There's something called "secondary wounding". Hope you haven't had to go thru it. It's like when you try to talk to people about it and they don't believe you or say it was your fault or say "I believe YOU believe it happened." ie..they don't believe it. Get some books from the library. Be careful about who you tell.. ~~~ Find a counselor, a support group, someone trained to assist rape victims. You're right, sometimes it's not enough just to talk about it, but if you talk about it with a counselor or someone who's trained to help rape victims or even other rape victims who have been helped by a counselor, they will know how to really hear what you are saying and they will know what to say back. Most people don't get what it means to be raped. They think it's just that someone forced sex onto you. Please, look for womens health, women's advocacy, something along those lines in your area. If you don't find what you need, I bet what you find will know where to send you.. ~~~
Being a rape survivor I found the best way to deal with it was to talk about it and to find a rape survivors group and talk to them. Most big hospitals have them and if you're in small town there are rape survivors groups on line. I know that it's hard but you have to remember that it's not your fault. The only person that's to blame is the person who perpetrated the assault. Other than the death of someone you love this might be the hardest thing that you have to deal with. I know that it's very hard but it can be done I know I've done it. Reach out for all the support that you can get and don't not talk about it. You will never forget it, but you can learn to live with it and be happy again. It will take time and energy but It can be done.
~~~ This helped me. Write a letter to the perpetrator. Start with just the facts what happened 2nd how it made you feel then last what you would like to do to him/them(you know what I mean). Put it away and take it out and read it once and awhile until it makes you so sick you can't even read it any more. It is now time to get rid of this part of you life and move on. You can get rid of it anyway you'd like. I'm going to go to the closest spot to where it happened and burn it. I think the best part of it all is when you write what you would do to them. I hope this helps and be strong. It wasn't your fault.
· 6 years ago