Is this normal in a healthy relationship ?!?!?

Okay, so recently me and my guy have been getting into a lot of arguments, and its always stupid things that he finds that turn into huge fights. Usually about me not caring enough, or not prioritizing him, or about me taking care of my pet, or something stupid which makes me feel taken for granted and not appreciated because i always treat him as the most important person in my life. Anyways, recently he got really mad and started swearing in public and yelling at me, cursing, calling me names, saying that he hates himself for ever even knowing etc etc. So anyways, i had enough and since this is like our 10th argument ( and we've been dating for a year now), i just wanted to call quits because i can't handle it anymore nor do i feel any love. He came by and i told him that this isn't healthy for me. After crying and apologizing to me ( as has been done before) , i said that I understand his apologies but it's just too much of a dramatic relationship for me, and i don't want to be a part of this and i need a break. He stopped crying, got angry, punched my door so that it slammed open and started swearing at me incredibly and wouldn't leave. I told him to stop swearing in my face and just leave but he said he wants to make sure i hear it so it hurts. Eventually he left, the next three days he kept showing up to apologize again, but i am really sick of everything. What do i do ? i don't know what is normal anymore. Help ? Previous argumetns have been about things like not trusting me, my family, my dog , etc.

Update:

i feel that i really do love him, because we CAN have a good time together, but when things get rough.... they get scary .... and that scares me for the future

9 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    7 years ago
    Best answer

    This is classic domestic violence / abusive behavior. First he yells at you, then apologizes. Then he yells and curses at you in public, then apologizes. Then he punches a door, then apologizes. What is next? He punches your face? He pulls your hair? He shoves you against a wall? He is escalating, and the cycle of being a jerk and then apologizing profusely only to do it again worse is a huuuuuge red flag. You need to get out now.

  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    well if i was you i would invite him over sit down and have a long talk about it. do you like him or do you feel that theres no chemistry anymore? say to him that the arguments are happening too often now and you can't handle it etc.. and depending on what you want to do i'd answer like this..

    if you want to stay with him i'd say "well if we do get back together we need to stop all this fighting. it's getting me really upset and it's bringing me down. instead of having arguments we could just subtly talk it through instead of all the shouting and fighting."

    if you don't want to stay him i'd say "i'm sorry, i just don't think it's working out. all this fighting has went too far and is happening too often. it's upsetting me just too much and i can't handle it anymore. i'm sorry" but don't mention 'we can still be friends' stupidest line ever.

    i think most healthy relationships have arguments and things, it's better than bottling up your feelings and let it get to you. but your fights seem to be occurring too often and i personally don't think it's too healthy. hope everything turns out alright x

  • 7 years ago

    Ok honey, first off if you have to ask yourself this question then usually you know the answer. If your thinking it could be unhealthy then it probably is. Based on what you just wrote it sounds like some serious mental and emotional abuse. I believe that's the worst kind. Bruises heal but you cant unsay hurt full things. More often then not mental/emotional abuse eventually leads to physical abuse. Both are horrible and no love is worth that. Protect your mind, body, soul and heart and stay away. Stick to what your gut is telling you. It isn't healthy and you deserve better.

  • 7 years ago

    This is NOT normal in a healthy relationship. It's only one short step from punching the door when he's angry to punching *you* ! Trust me, I know. Swearing in your face, calling you horrible names, refusing to leave... these are all abusive behaviors. Right now the abuse is emotional and psychological, but do NOT give it time to escalate into physical.

    Tell your family what's going on... move back in with them if you can/ have to... If his threatening behavior continues, bring in the police.

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  • 7 years ago

    If i were you i would leave. He seems slightly violent and who knows maybe it will be your face next time and not a door

  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    well you could call him and ask him why do y'all keep getting in to arguments and if you think his answer is either stupid or false words hang up and file a restraining order

  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    he has problems that are all his own beauty, please do not let him make them yours. do not have any thing to do with him any more at all no phone calls no talks no nothing as this is the best way to get him out of your life , you do not need his drama

  • 7 years ago

    It seems to me you need to get out before things go too far. He seems mentally unstable.

  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    Pack and run!!! Lol, id say just ignore him, he isnt worth ur time.

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