im miserable but it doesnt seem fair to leave?

ive been with my partner coming up a year in a few days now, i have a nearly 3 year old girl from a previous relationship and im about 24wks pregnant now with my partners child, i planned on leaving him today wile my daughter is visiting her dads so she doesnt have to see it but im having trouble deciding whether what im doing is right? ive wanted to leave for about 3 months now i hate him more each day even when he breathes i want to scream he annoys me so much ! and its completely not his fault this is happening just the longer ive been with him ive realised i hate his personality we dont go together and have very different beliefs,he is a lovely kind generous loyal man and i told myself i would never find a man who treats me this good again but he has terrible anger issues hes obsessive with things, he constantly nags and repeats himself, overdramatic and unbearable to live with he expect me to do everything because his mother does LITERALLY everything for him, hes racist to most people but makes exceptions for a few people which i dont understand which makes me feel sick everytime he says a racist comment it really upsets me i dont want me kids to hear that and grow up having those beliefs hes also homophobic which really upsets me too he just doesnt understand anyone elses point of view apart from is own, he can also be controlling in a very sneaky way he will say i can go out but when i do i suffer his mood swings and silent treatment, and he nearly left me one day because i talked to someone i use to date for like 2 seconds but its ok for him to speak to his ex wife! and have full blown conversations when hes working and he dont even talk to me much when hes working, ive stayed this long only to spare his feelings and my daughters i dont know how this is going to effect her im worried about her, i know she loves him but she doesnt really show him much effection lately im worried that my way towards him is reflecting on her and shes copying? i dont know. but when i think about it it just seems selfish for me to ruin his life just so i can be happy, its going to efect all of us but if he stays its going to get worse! i kept telling myself i have to stay because of the baby on the way and my daughter and to keep everything peacefull which i have been doing for the past 3 months or so, but im more miserable each day he stresses me out so much when we bicker which is alot! i just give up i dont know anymore i had it in my head to end it this evening then i got scared thinking about how he would react he always told me if i leave him he can assure me the baby will end up living with him because he will do something so twisted that they will take my kids away and i no it sounds silly but i know him and how sick he can be and he would do it, thats another main thing hes not normal hes likes beating people up he use to be a doorman he finds it funny to hurt a drunk defenceless person, hes not normal, sorry if ive written an essay thats still not everything but i will end it here lol, please give your honest thoughts do you think i should go or am i really being selfish and should stay for the kids but be miserable?

3 Answers

  • 8 years ago
    Best answer

    Never stay in a relationship for your kids or anyone else. Your kids need a happy mother. You're doing the best for your kids by leaving him and creating a life for yourself without all the misery.

    The fact that you are taking all of this time to write so much about why you are not happy with this man, tells me you should leave him.

  • 8 years ago


    the sooner you do it the easier it will be.

    sure you dont want to break the peace but if you hate him more each day think about how you will feel in ONE YEARS TIME. you will probably want to murder him!!

    Pack up your stuff, grab your daughter and leave.

    He cant take your baby away from you because the law wont let that happen

    So please dont put yourself or your kids through this any longer.

  • 8 years ago

    stay for the children???

    do you REALLY want your children to grow up around this?

    and be as miserable confused and hurt as you are??

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