Which Opening paragraph sounds better to you?
1) I've never been one to believe in happy endings. Even as a child i knew fairytale endings were only the product of some creative writers imagination. In a vile, rotting world like this it seems as if anything that ends well is just another work of fiction.
Though even in my confinement i can feel the urge to hope and dream that i will have a happy ending. That the walls around me will crumble and fall. That i would be free. But i suppress it, in the knowledge that it will never happen. The walls are reinforced with steel just like the chains that bind me. What is the point in hoping just to have your hopes crushed. I do not think ill ever be free, even in death i feel i will still be bound.
2) Do you believe in happy endings? Or fairy tales?
The great works of fiction that inspire hope in the young children of every generation. Telling them that good always triumph's over evil and that your knight in shining armour while always save you.
Is that really true?
In a child's imagination it may be, but reality is nothing like those heart warming tales. Reality is a cold, harsh place where probably only one in ten thousand ever get lucky enough to experience their happy ending. For the rest of us their is nothing but heartbreak and deceit.
But then again I am biased. I've never seen any real good happen to anyone. I don't think i ever will.
Also any advice or what i could do to make it better would be appreciated.
- Anonymous8 years agoFavorite Answer
I think both have elements worthy of a beginning paragraph, for you are talented in prose. I like the use of building a setting around your voice (the chains and walls) but I love the cynical voice about the fairy tales from the second one, the rhetorical questions and the ending, for that last sentence leaves me wondering what kind of world said character lives in. If I were you, I'd try and reconstruct the paragraph and merge the two together.
1. 'In a vile, rotting world like this it seems as if anything that ends well is just another work of fiction'
'The walls are reinforced with steel just like the chains that bind me.'
2. 'Is that really true?' 'For the rest of us' 'I've never seen any real good happen to anyone'.
These parts I would defo try and blend together. Or, at least, DO NOT get rid of them!
You get the idea XD.
Good luck!Source(s): I am a writer too :)
- Anonymous8 years ago
I like #1 the best. Here's why:
1) You didn't try to give too much information all at once.
2) It sounds more epicfuller. :)
3) (kind of goes with the first one) You went slow on revealing the character's situation, which worked really well, because it gave the impression that they had been in chains for a while now before the story began.
4) The character sounds more convinced that their life is hopeless, that they'll never be free.
5) It's written more as if they were thinking themself instead of to the reader. Characters talking to themselves is more engaging for a story like this. If they're asking the reader questions, it doesn't seem as real, and this way of writing is better for lighthearted stories.
I absolutely love this part: "I've never been one to believe in happy endings. Even as a child i knew fairytale endings were only the product of some creative writers imagination. In a vile, rotting world like this it seems as if anything that ends well is just another work of fiction."
Keep it up! I can tell you've spend lots of time on this, and you have a real talent.Source(s): I write books. lol
- MollyLv 68 years ago
In my personal opinion, number 2 is better.
First of all, it involves the reader by asking a rhetorical question. This means the reader might start thinking a bit more.
Secondly, it is a lot more direct. Direct is always best. You wander around using 'vile, rotting world', 'creative writer' and go on about chains and walls. The other one uses direct words which makes the reader sit up and think, and get more interested. It is also a lot more dramatic.
Last of all, the ending is better. It mentions about nothing good having ever happened, which makes you want to read on, because you will think 'why?'.
I would check on the punctuation a bit more, but I appreciate that you were probably copying this down from your drafts pretty quickly.
- murrellLv 43 years ago
ideas-blowing activity! I replaced the blunders that i spotted (some redundancy, fallacious tense of speech). good success on the suitable draft. Puzzles are between many sorts of entertainment in at modern's society. commencing up from the minutest 10 piece set to the greater suitable complicated 5,000 piece jigsaws, puzzles lend themselves to human beings of limitless an prolonged time who purpose to decipher an underlying photograph. finally, after decrypting the jigsaw, an elementary, mono-faceted photograph is seen. diverse to this uncomplicated illustration, many authors modern their characters to readers as puzzles that ought to now no longer be solved. as an social gathering, as a literary draw close who instills the complexity of human psychology into his works, Shakespeare can provide Othello's Iago as a sort of of unsolvable puzzles. in this classic seventeenth century play, Iago is diverse as a disingenuous huge-unfold who makes an array of ploys that act in process the degradation of limitless characters' physique and soul. Iago's skillful use of crafty machinations for the duration of the play instruments the element for the two Othello and his companion's deaths, between diverse infinite tragedies. desperate and untiring, Iago's unique useful properties are the classic commencing up up of his motives and strikes. hence, Iago's degradation of the two Cassio and Othello for particular exemplifies the collaborative useful properties Iago possesses and the useful properties he lacks, which leaves the reader with a sympathetic information of Iago's psychological motives.
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- 8 years ago
I like number 1 haha cant really start a para with a question hah
- Anonymous8 years ago
In my personal opinion, I think the first one sounds better.
The only thing I have to say, is be sure to capitalize your I's.Source(s): My Opinion.
- 8 years ago
The 1st one sounds good.
- Anonymous8 years ago
I would say number 2 because you use more english techniques e.g rhetorical questions.Source(s): My brain