Yes you are. You are under tremendous stress and are dealing with the emotion turmoil of a tubal abortion and probably unrecognized stress over the fact that you just dodged your own death. This is why things that were once important to you no longer are. You might want to give it a little time to ensure you will not regret skipping a traditional wedding. "... so that was next in life to do ..." This is the most common 'worst reason' to get married, buy a house, or have children. Ensure you want these things with your boyfriend not you want them and he's there to help make it happen. Otherwise after the wedding happens and after the children come he will have served his purpose... Which is a key reason why divorce is prevalent among people who marry young. Ensure your boyfriend really wants to get married and start a family now. If he doesn't and is 'doing it for you' ... another key reason young marriages don't work out. PS Etiquette on announcing a pregnancy is you wait 9 weeks. Early miscarriage and abortions are very common. "I told him I plan for our baby to either be our ring bear or flower girl in our wedding. I used to want to be 18 before I had a baby, then I wanted an apartment of our own, then I wanted to be over 21. Then I wanted to own a house, then I wanted to be engaged....then I thought I wanted to be married before kids. Now all bets are off! We did everything expect get married. At this point will be over 23 & he will be over 25 before we have a child." You are only thinking about yourself... what does he want? Maybe he wanted to be married before he has a child - like most people. And you would be ill-advised to have a baby right away. You should have some honeymoon years of marriage first, though I can see the argument you already had them by living together.